I am my kids only advocate, and if I don't stay involved, they will fall through the cracks.  My 5 year old almost did.  I had to have him tested for a year and half until they finally saw what I saw, and agreed that he needed to be classified. This is your child, and your gut is the best thing to follow no matter what!  You know your child.  Maybe you could try to come up with what you think might work for him in school, and bring it to the iep meeting.  Even if you've had the meeting already, stay in contact daily with the teachers via e-mail or phone.  I let his teachers know if he is having a bad morning with a quick phone call so they know what to expect when he comes into their class.  You'd be surprised how helpful it is to them.

Starting Kindergarden this year was, and still is, tough for my 5 yr old.  Some days he will get on the bus without any prompting, and others days it takes a crowbar to get him to let go of me.  I am also a pre-school teacher and I see how it takes children varied amounts of time to adjust to new situations, but special needs kids need longer than you would think.  It is very stressful for them, and it is also stressful for us as parents. He is just now after 2 months, starting to get into the swing of things.  He still tells me every day that he doesn't want to go to school, but I kiss him, and tell him I love him, and put him on the bus.  I don't even address it.

If you feel that the program isn't working for your child, you are entitled to get as many people involved to get your child help as is necessary, and they are required to do it!  Just be persistent and let your gut be your guide.

Hugs and more hugs to you!!!

-Sheri

There are a few tools that will help you choose a toy that will not only give the child lots of fun playtime but also might just prove educational or otherwise beneficial:

The Toys R Us Guide for Differently Abled Kids breaks toys down into different skill sets to make shopping less overwhelming and more specific. The guide is available online and also in print in brick & mortar Toys R Us stores. You can order the toys online from Toys R Us or use the guide as research and buy them at any retailer.

Also from Toys R Us is the Faces of Autism slide show of beautiful portraits and the 10 Toys That Speak to Autism selection. Check ... ]]> Sun, 27 Sep 2009 22:17:31 -0400 http://www.pediatricsafety.net/community/chat/special-needs-special-kids/banging-my-head-against-a-wall/#p52 Special Needs, Very Special Kids http://www.pediatricsafety.net/community/chat/special-needs-special-kids/banging-my-head-against-a-wall/#p52 My husband and I talked a lot about this over the last couple of days.  He agrees with you, Muziclady.  He thinks we need to give him more time to adjust.  That he is probably testing his new teacher and trying to push the limits.  We both know that our son doesn't like to be pushed to work, but that he has to be.  Some of his major accomplishments have come out of us pushing him to succeed. 

It is hard for me to sit back while I see that he is unhappy.  The last two days have been better.  His teacher has been concentrating on writing instead of typing and that has helped.  He seems to be more willing to learn how to write independently.  If he succeeds, it is a viable form of communication.  He will have a lot of doors opened for him with this.  His academic learning would be expanded to his actual level (which is years above his age).

I have set up an IEP meeting for the 22nd.  I have requested that they bring in someoned that has more experience with autistic children to consult with the team.  I am hoping that a new view point will help us gear his learning towards what he needs.  He is due for a new IEP to be drawn up in Oct., so this should help.

Thanks for the support.  I have learned so much over the years, but there are always new things for me to learn about helping my son.  I don't deal withas many crisis moments as I did when he was younger, but when one comes up, it still throws me into a tailspin.  Luckily, my husband has learned how to deal with me and how to help me through it.

This time, funny enough, it took a trip to the bakery for doughnuts to lift my spirits.  We were able to get out of the house, talk on the way there and back, and  this bakery has the best doughnuts.  A little sugar high can do a person some good, sometimes.  It's a good thing we only get them about twice a year.

I feel for you and what you are going through.  I have read your posts.  You are a wonderful, loving mom faced with an extremely frustrating situation. But my feeling is that one week is not long enough to give your son a chance to adjust to his new situation.  Give him a little longer and then follow your instincts.  You'll know better than anyone whether this school is right for him or not.  Trust what you feel inside and you will make the right decision.  I'm sending two great big hugs...one for you, and one for your son, and hoping that peace of mind returns quickly.

I don't have the answer.  I just know the pain of being a MOM and seeing MY child in pain and knowing *I* could NOT stop that pain.. and the feeling of helplessness was UNBEARABLE! 

The feeling of "Where do I turn?"  "Who do I go to?"  Don't let Panic  over take you! 

You seem very level headed.  Sometimes Fatigue and pure Stress can wear ya down!

YOU have NOT failed your son!  YOU can always make an appointement with the school and talk about his goals and his iep and so on.. YOUR his MOM, that is your right. 

It's gonna be ok!

Hugs friend!

Leslie

Take a deep breath and know that you don't want to make a decision when you feel the sky is falling down...but you love your son and you know him best...and whatever choice you make will be the right one for him.

Big hug coming your way again...

He has always loved school.  Now, just over a week back to school, he hates it.  My first instinct is to pull him out and homeschool him.  I don't think that is the answer.  He needs more help than I can give him.

He is being pushed really hard in school, and for the most part I agree with this.  On the other hand, I want to protect him.  I think they are expecting him to do things that he isn't able to do.  I know that they are also expecting him to do things that he can do, but doesn't want to do.  I think the bottom line is that the program in place isn't appropriate for him and that they are just doing what they know how to do with special needs children.  I think he needs a more specialized autistic program, but no one here is qualified to design or implement one.

I can' afford to send him to  private autistic school.  I wish I could.  I never thought I would say this, but I think he needs a residential placement in a private facility for autistic kids.  I am crying as I type this.  I am really at a loss and don't know what to do.  I feel like I have failed my son and I don't know how to fix it this time.

My worrying was for nothing. He had a great time. In the next three years, I new he was in a safe environment. My only concern was that we were not seeing much progress in his developmental skills. He wasn’t demonstrating any understanding of the basic concepts like shapes, numbers, or colors. My husband and I decided it was time for a change.

We moved to a bigger city that was close by. I had researched the schools and thought that they would be better for my son. The teachers had more training and there were dedicated autism classrooms. After the move, it was one battle after another. At first, the new school system did not want to recognize my son’s diagnosis. Instead, they wanted to place him in a special needs classroom in a school that I wasn’t sure would be a good fit.

http://www.pediatricsafety.net/community/chat/special-needs-special-kids/raising-an-autistic-child/#p24 It's not easy.  Don't let anyone tell you it is, or that you just need to discipline them better.  They don't understand that it doesn't work that way for our kids.  I have an easy time with my kids compared to you.  I just wrote  a post about potty training and how I used a give and take away system with my son.  It wasn't easy, but we came up with a system that worked for us.  It sounds like you need to come up with a system that works right for you.

For three kids, it is tougher for you.  You might want to take some time and set up schedules that you can post on the wall.  You can give each child their own schedule to follow for each day.  This will help with the short attention span.  Assign activities for each to do and chores that need to be accomplished.  They can check them off as they complete them.  To help with transitioning, you may want to try using a timer.  Set the timer for the amount of time allowed on an activity, and when it goes off, it is time to stop and clean up or turn off what is being done.

To help with cooking, let the decisions be yours.  Have them stand on paper and trace their feet on it.  Have each child's name on the papers.  Tape the paper on the floor where you want each child to stand.  Make or have your kids make, ingredient cards for your common recipes that they can help you with.  Each time you are going to cook with their help, pull out the ingredient cards that apply to the recipe.  You can have them pick the cards by random before starting.  You can make cards for mixing, pouring, opening, too.  Now, here is the tricky part.  Put a chair in the kitchen.  If one starts to fuss or complain, it's an automatic minute in the chair.  Or, they lose a card.