Yelling. Fighting. Hitting. Tantrums. Biting. Sound familiar? They are all typical behaviors bad-tempered kids use to make their needs known and to get their way. But here’s a critical parent secret: Hot tempers are learned so they can be unlearned. And calming a hot temper is not only doable but also essential for growing up in this sometimes violent, unpredictable world. Here are six anger management tips from The BIG BOOK OF PARENTING SOLUTIONS.

1. Commit to raising a controlled kid. Studies show that parents who feel strongly about their kids showing self-restraint succeed because they committed themselves to that effort.
2. Model coolness. One question parents should ask nightly is: “If my kid had only my behavior to watch, what would he have seen today?” Self-control is learned first at home.
3. Set a rule: “Talk only when calm.” Refuse to talk to your kid until you and your kid are calm. If needed, lock yourself in the bathroom. Enforce the EXIT rule: walk away until calm.
4. Identify stress signs. We all have unique physiological stress signs warning us we’re getting angry: flushed cheeks, rapid breathing, dry mouth. Recognize your child’s signs and help him identify them and keep pointing them out until he recognizes them in himself.
5. Teach your child healthy ways to control that bad temper. Here are a few options:
   • Use self-talk. Teach him an affirmation: a simple, positive message he says to himself in stressful situations. …
     
     

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