In Today’s Culture, Can We Raise Strong, Confident Daughters?

A five-year study of 2516 teens by the American Psychological Association found that girls who frequently read those dieting and weight loss articles are far more likely to fast, vomit, or use laxatives to lose weight. In fact, the data proved that the more frequently a girl reads those fashion magazines, the more likely she is to resort to extreme weight control behaviors.

These days it’s almost impossible to not hear what Brittney, Lindsay, Paris or some other pencil-slim celeb is up to. Photos of them all to often leaving some nightclub (drink in hand) wearing some highly revealing outfit and unmistaken sexy look are blasted on every news channel and magazine cover.

But have you ever wondered if those young celebrities influence our kids’ values and attitudes? Could those images actually effect how our kids turn out?

The American Psychological Association’s study confirms what many parents feared: All those raunchy, sexy girl messages do indeed have an negative impact on our daughters and are correlated eating disorders, lower self-esteem, and depression. Not too long ago The Today Show asked me to address what parents can do to counter those negative messages. Here are a few solutions I offered to help us raise strong, healthy, emotionally secure young girls who can buck those raunchy images and come out on top.

• Get savvy about our new culture. Remove those blinders and take a realistic look at the new X-Rated world. Sexy, raunchy images of girls are everywhere. TV shows push the limits, magazines flaunt photos young party-going girl celebrities, the Internet has no rules, and CD lyrics are darn-right scandalous. But watch out: these days marketers are targeting even our youngest girls. The new “Hooker Look” (I can’t think of a better term) is the hot new fashion. (Did you know that last year seven-to twelve year- old girls spent $1.3 million on thong undies????) Toy makers are designing new long-legged, doey-eyed looking female dolls in slinky outfits ready for the hot-tub for our preschoolers. You do control the purse strings and that remote!
• Find healthier outlooks. Discover your daughter’s natural passion and talent whether it be surfing, basketball, art, yoga, soccer, and then support her involvement. Those positive activities will help you focus more on her talents and interests, and show her that you value her for her strengths, not appearance. It will also help her develop a stronger identify based on her passions instead of ones borrowed from young, rich celebrities on magazine covers.
• Tune into your daughter’s world. From television shows, video games, movies, music and Internet sites, stay involved in your daughter’s lifestyle choices. Monitor what she watches and listens to, and who she seems to admire. Doing so will help you understand her values at that moment, as well as help guide your next discussions about your family values. If you don’t like a TV show, movie, CD, video or an outfit explain “Why” instead of just saying, “No.” Your daughter needs to learn how to make wise choices and needs someone (that’s you!) to be her sounding board as well as perspective maker.
• Downplay popularity and appearance. Girls need to hear messages that convey: “Who you are is far more important than how you look.” So zip your tongue and halt those comments likes: “She’s lost so-o-o-o much weight!”, “I love her hair!”, “I wonder what moisturizer she uses?” “Did you get invited to the birthday party?” Also, watch your gossip and how you talk about other women–especially in front of your daughter. Your kids are scrutinizing your behavior, and they do copy what they see and hear. Always be the example you want your daughter to copy.
• Don’t forget your sons. Boys, as well, are bombarded by those sexy images and cause unhealthy images of women to develop. What’s more, our boys may think girls even like to be treated as sex objects. Don’t leave your son out of the mix. Talk to him. Counter those messages by giving him the right view of how women do like to be treated. (So says the mom of three boys!)

Sure, the world these days is more X-rated, but parents have always been an excellent counterbalance to sleaze and raunchiness. Remember you really do influence your daughter’s attitudes, values, and self-esteem. Your goal is to help your daughter from the youngest age know she is a person of worth just for who she is, and not for how she looks. Be mindful of that goal, and don’t deviate from it. After all, raising children to be strong and healthy is a 24/7 proposition and in today’s sexually-explicit culture that aim becomes even more challenging.

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Dr Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, is one of the most comprehensive parenting book for kids 3 to 13. This down-to-earth guide offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and much more. Each of the 101 challenging parenting issues includes specific step-by-step solutions and practical advice that is age appropriate based on the latest research . The Big Book of Parenting Solutions has recently been released and is now available at amazon.com

For Every Little Girl – Unlocking a Cure for Breast Cancer

Everyone knows someone – a mother, a daughter, a grandmother, a friend who’s had it. For me, it was my mother…and not too long ago I had that awful pit in my stomach when I thought it was my sister too. This October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And Master Lock is showing its commitment to breast cancer awareness with the introduction of new pink security locks.

“Breast cancer remains one of the most prevalent types of cancer in women and we need to do everything we can to help find a cure,” said John Heppner, president and CEO of Fortune Brands Storage and Security, which includes Master Lock. “…we hope to help unlock a cure for breast cancer by raising awareness and funding research.”

And Master Lock is doing just that. There are 4 different types of lock – each bearing the pink awareness ribbon, the universal symbol of breast cancer awareness. There are locker locks – for work or for the gym, bike cables, even luggage and backpack locks that are approved by TSA for airline travel. And each comes stamped with a little pink ribbon to remind us that with everything we lock up to keep safe, we’re helping to unlock a cure to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe.

I would add that in addition to raising awareness, Master Lock is supporting The Breast Cancer Research Foundation® (BCRF) with a $15,000 donation. It is also up to each and every one of us to support BCRF in any way we can. My mother and my sister were lucky. My mom is in full remission and with my sister it was just a scare. Not everyone can say that.

In gratitude, I offer this post as a prayer for every little girl born this year, that they have the chance to grow up in a world where there is no more fear of breast cancer.

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Additional Resources:

• The Master Lock Breast Cancer Awareness Locks may be purchased at local national retailers and at Amazon.com
• The Breast Cancer Research Foundation is dedicated to preventing breast cancer and finding a cure in our lifetime by funding clinical and genetic research worldwide. For more information about BCRF, visit www.bcrfcure.org or call 1.866.FIND.A.CURE.