What is a good toy for a special needs child?

Whether you are a parent, a caregiver or a birthday party guest it may be challenging to choose a toy for a special needs child. The more information you have about the child, the easier it will be to make the choice so you might want to ask: 

♦ Is the child working on any specific skills, such as gripping or cutting (fine motor) or jumping (gross motor)?

♦ Does the child have any specific dislikes, such as loud music or flashing lights?

♦ What is the child’s favorite type of play? Dress up? Art? Puzzles? Riding toys?

♦ Who is the child’s favorite character? What is the child’s favorite movie or show or song?

There are a few tools that will help you choose a toy that will not only give the child lots of fun playtime but also might just prove educational or otherwise beneficial:

The Toys R Us Guide for Differently Abled Kids breaks toys down into different skill sets to make shopping less overwhelming and more specific. The guide is available online and also in print in brick & mortar Toys R Us stores. You can order the toys online from Toys R Us or use the guide as research and buy them at any retailer.

Also from Toys R Us is the Faces of Autism slide show of beautiful portraits and the 10 Toys That Speak to Autism selection. Check each toy’s description for its features and benefits.

AblePlay offers offers a rating system, search engine and reviews of toys for special needs kids. You can buy the items online or use the site for research. There are also message boards and blogs on the site, as well as articles and even the ability to build a wish list for your child. AblePlay’s press release gives more information about the site.

The Toys R us guides as well as AblePlay rely heavily on input from Lekotek, which is being threatened by budget cuts in Illinois. Lekotek offers programs and family support in many states and there is info on the site about starting one in any location.

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Create Accountable, Masterful Children: The Family Coach Method

The transition from toddler to child is a leap for both of you. As a parent during this time, you go from meeting all your toddler’s needs to helping your 3- to 8-year-old learn to be independent and responsible for herself. This is one of those profound developmental processes that no one really teaches parents how to navigate. But that’s why we’re here now, to help you and your child develop the skills you’ll both need to enter this amazing and challenging time in your lives.

Small Steps to Wider Horizons

When we speak of responsibility and independence, we’re really talking about mastery and accountability. In other words, your child is free to wander a little farther away from you at the park because he has mastered the skills required to do that: he stays within bounds, he engages with other children respectfully, and he knows basic concepts of safety. And he has shown you that you can rely on him to do these things as you expect – this is the accountability part. The level of independence you give him, and the accountability you expect in return, will grow as your child grows. Children as young as 3 are beginning to feel their own way in the world, with your guidance.

But how do you introduce independence and responsibility to your children? First, you provide your child with the opportunity to exhibit a greater level of skill than he has previously. You might make the conscious choice to stop picking up your son’s underwear from the bathroom floor and expect him by age 3 or 3 ½ to put them in the laundry basket himself (He’ll feel like such a big boy!). You start to break down specific tasks and activities of daily living and allow your child to do more for himself. These are often small tasks for an adult, but brand new and perhaps even exciting to a child.

As you clean your home or fold the laundry, begin identifying small tasks that you can give your child so that he can feel more sense of accomplishment and mastery. Don’t worry too much if she gets it wrong at first – he will master his new skill quickly.

If you haven’t already noticed, your 3-year-old is capable of several chores around the house. She can pull up the covers on her bed, pick up toys and put them in the toy bins, take her laundry to the laundry room, pour water for the family dog, wipe up his messes with a paper towel and even help you dust. Watch the transformation from toddler to skillful 3-year-old as your child proudly helps you and herself.

Example: When your 3-year-old asks for milk, you say, “Let’s look on your shelf in the ‘fridge. Do you see it there?” Voilá! Before your child, right at eye level, is his cup of milk, pre-made (of course you were ready for the request!). “You can take it and drink it.” In this simple scenario, your child now experiences pride at being able to do this on his own for the first time.

By the time a child is 5, he is ready to hear, “You are really growing up. You want to do many things like play at the park, ride your bike on your own, and stay up later. You may be ready to do those things, but with independence comes responsibility.” These are big concepts for a child, but ones which they are primed for and often quite ready to understand. It happens with small steps.

Your 8-year-old has better dexterity, is taller and can think through tasks better than a 3-year-old. He can help you fold laundry and put it away in open drawers. He can set the table, clear the table and he may even love vacuuming. Your job is providing the opportunity to complete these tasks, but his experience will develop solid skills for a lifetime. As always, don’t expect perfection and give credit for a thoughtful effort.

* TIP: If you want to suggest improvement, frame it in the language of success: “You did a great job folding those shirts! Would you like to see a little trick for making it even easier?”

Independence and responsibility go hand in hand

With the independence of sleeping in a “big girl” bed comes the responsibility of making the bed each morning. With the independence of taking the school bus comes the responsibility of placing homework, lunch and permission slips in the backpack, then leaving it in “ready-to-go” position at the back door. With the independence of watching television one hour a day comes the responsibility of making sure homework is completed before the television is turned on. See how this goes?

When you tie independence to responsibility early in life, good habits that foster responsible independence become the norm.

Teaching your children this relationship early will lead to children who place their clothing in the hamper and not on the floor, teens who clean up their fast food when they return the car, and college students who always finish their studies before going out at night with their friends. As in adulthood, independence and freedom must co-exist with responsibility.

Demonstrate this now and your children will understand it forever. Responsibility may not be the message they’re getting from the popular culture around them, but it’s the message they’re now getting from their family culture…and you’re taking the proactive measures to establish your family culture strongly in your children’s minds and hearts. Is it worth the effort? You bet it is!

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The Family Coach Definition: Task Demand

(n.) A task demand is a set of expectations that require a certain level of skill to complete. The task demand is what is required of you to complete an action. The skill is what is needed to meet the requirement. Examples of task demands would be: 1) being required to wait to walk out the door, when you are really excited and your parent tells you, “Wait until I say you may go outside.” 2) being required to put your hands in your pockets before you get near a brand new baby. 3) needing to hold a pencil correctly in order to write your name. 4) needing to shift one’s attention from the television to the parent, when the parent says, “Turn off the TV.”

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*note: this post is an excerpt from Dr Kenney’s upcoming book “The Family Coach Method” scheduled for release September 15, 2009 . The Family Coach Method is ‘rug-level,’ friendly and centered on the concept of families as a winning team – with dozens of age-appropriate sample conversations and problem solving scenarios to guide a family to the desired place of mutual respect, shared values and strengths. The goal is to help children to develop the life skills, judgment and independence that can help them navigate the challenges of an increasingly complex world.  The Family Coach Method is also being taught as an Educational Series where parents can join with other moms and dads in live calls with Dr Kenney.

Raising a Family

I am the mother of two amazing children, one boy – 10 years old and one girl – 6 years old. My son is autistic and my daughter isn’t. Needless to say, life around our house is challenging.

My son received his diagnosis at age five. We were literally on a roller coaster of doctor visits and evaluations before he received his diagnosis. We knew he was autistic, but hearing the words from the doctor was still hard to take. We survived. My son is wonderful and we do everything we can to help him.

Before getting pregnant with my daughter, my husband thought long and hard about having another child. Our biggest concerns were whether or not we would be able to give our son the attention he needed and what would happen if our second child ended up being autistic. We knew that there was a good chance that we would end up with two children on the spectrum, even though we did not have an official diagnosis at that time. In the end, we decided that no matter what, we would love both of our children and do whatever we had to do in order to make it work.

Our daughter was born, and we had no problems. Our son took to her immediately. He loved this bundle of noise the moment he set eyes on her. As they both grew a little older, our daughter has shifted between being little sister to big sister. Constantly going back and forth between the two, she has developed a special relationship with her brother. No one interacts with my son the way she does. She demands his attention and gets it. They laugh and play together in a way that makes me envious. My son does not interact with other children. He simply stands or sits on the sidelines and watches.

It’s amazing how accepting my daughter is of her brother’s differences. We have had to be careful about her copying him, though. Little sisters love to copy their older siblings. She is no exception. We take each occurrence as it happens, letting her know what is appropriate and what isn’t. We explain why and she struggles with her acceptance of it. When she was younger, the hardest instance of this was communication. My son is nonverbal and used to communicate solely with gestures and sounds. My daughter wanted to do the same and we had to constantly tell her to use her words. It was hard for her to understand why she had to when her brother did not.

We have overcome a lot in the last six years. At the heart of it, what has made us able to handle everything, is our love. My husband and I love each other and we love our children. We balance our time with each other and with the two of them. We have made sure we have plenty of family time and plenty of one on one time with each of our children. There is no rule book for raising a family that has a child with autism. All you have to go on is instinct and love. If you have those two things working for you, you can take on anything.

easidream

Hello, I’m Lynda, mum to six lovable and lively children and inventor of easidream®

When my sixth child, Bradley was born, he cried constantly and it was a nightly struggle to settle him to sleep…a struggle that went on until he was two and a half years old! I tried everything to soothe him off to sleep, but I discovered that the most reliable way was to lean over the cot sides and create a ‘rocking cot’ motion by moving the mattress up and down. Having scoured shops and the internet for any product that would replicate this movement (and relieve my backache!), I realised that there was nothing suitable out there, so I went on to take the ‘massive step’ of developing a product of my own – easidream®

For the next few years I researched the problem as deeply as possible, canvassing valuable input from sleep experts, university departments and medical professionals like midwives, child psychologists and paediatricians. I also consulted with the baby care industry and product design teams and, of course, surveyed many parents with young babies. At last, after a 7-year gestation easidream® was born!

The finished product has been meticulously designed and researched. I considered it was essential for easidream® to undergo proper scientific trials to validate its efficiency… it was no good just me saying it worked, I needed to be 100% sure that it did! I embarked on a year long period of research in conjunction with University of Brighton medical experts, which involved testing both the moving platform and the soothing sounds on a wide selection of babies. These studies not only revealed just how effective easidream® was at promoting healthy sleep patterns, but also showed that it encourages parents to adopt safe sleep practices.

The findings revealed:

• Average crying time on easidream® was reduced from 18 minutes to less than 1 minute
• All of the babies that took part in the trials remained happily settled on their backs; great news in respect of SIDS
• Time to settle to sleep in some cases was reduced by up to 95%

We all know that when a new baby arrives, uninterrupted sleep is rare and we have to adapt to shorter, broken nights and savour every moment of sleep we can catch. But although we think our bodies are coping with just a few ‘catnaps’ a night, continuous lack of sleep eventually catches up on us all; it’s vitally important that we understand just how crucial sleep is to the whole family’s well being… not just for healthy child development, but also for the general health and well being of everyone in the household. Did you know that it has been proven that well rested children develop faster, are healthier and have fewer behavioural problems? With adults, lack of sleep has been proven to affect both memory and cognitive skills…. What more can I say? I was determined to invent a product that would not only help soothe particularly fractious babies, but also promote the formation of a healthy sleep pattern, so both babies and parents could benefit from a good night’s rest.

easidream® actually assists in encouraging the formation of a healthy sleep pattern plus it encourages babies to self settle on their back in the cot, which is great news in the fight against SIDS. It also solves the problem of sleep deprivation for the whole family by rewarding them with those valuable hours of sleep they so richly deserve.  End result: happy, healthier babies and happy, healthier parents!

HEALTHFUL HINTS:

1. Putting babies to sleep
   • Make sure you place your baby with their feet at the foot of the cot (but not touching the end of the cot) , to reduce the likelihood of the baby wriggling down and becoming overheated underneath any cot bedding, which may end up over the baby’s head. Overheating has been shown to greatly increase the likelihood of a SIDS related incident occurring. 
   • Also, remove soft toys from the cot, as they too could increase your baby’s temperature to an unsafe level.  This is why ewan, our dream sheep, is secured to the cot bars and not positioned directly in line with your baby’s head, just in case he becomes detached – although this is extremely unlikely! (Some of our website shots are at an angle that may look like ewan is close to the head, but I can assure you he’s not!)
   • Always ensure your baby is placed to sleep on their back; again this is incredibly important in reducing the likelihood of a SIDS incident occurring. (The beauty of easidream® is that it has been proven to actually help baby’s settle to sleep on their backs and so parents are more likely to follow the recommended safe sleep guidelines.)
   • While all of this is consistent with the American Academy of Pediatrics Guidelines for Safe Sleeping , each baby is unique.   Always remember to ask your doctor what’s best for your baby’s sleep.
2. If they wake up or refuse to sleep:
   • …it is extremely important that you go and check your baby to determine the reason why. We have spent a great deal of time researching this particular area and having consulted medical professionals, and it is why we decided against having an automatic sound activated feature or a remote control that would “restart” the soother. As this is such a vulnerable age group, we consider it vitally important that parents return to their baby to remedy any problem – dirty nappy, thirsty, hungry etc. For healthy, happy sleep times we believe that interaction with your baby is vital and we strongly encourage this practise.

Do we shut off the tv until they reach 2?

According to Christakis’ study of 329 2-month to 4-year-old children and their parents, each hour of television exposure was linked to a decrease of 770 words the child heard from an adult. There was also a decrease in child vocalizations and child-adult interactions. Of course the reality is that some of these results were directly related to children being left in front of a TV, however others reflected adults who while present were distracted by the television and not necessarily interacting with their child. And “hearing adults speak and being spoken to are critical exposures that play a role in infants development in language” according to Christakis.

The interaction as well as the distraction – they both start and end with us. It’s us, not the children that can’t handle the tv being on in the background. Maybe we’re the ones who need to be reminded to walk away…because if the study told us anything, it’s that it can be tough for us to tune it out…and the one thing we never ever want to do is tune them out.

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