A Sincere Thank You To Responsible Special Needs Caregivers…
I was literally brought to tears by yet another story of a special needs child who was mistreated by her alleged caregivers. So, as Thanksgiving approaches, I want to express my gratitude, appreciation and admiration. Thank you…
To every caseworker, nurse and doctor who questions parents and caregivers diligently and actually follows up…
- To every teacher’s aide who forms a bond with a special needs student…
- To every therapist who really cares about every client, whether they make progress or not…
- To every child on every playground who has included a special needs child in play…
- To every teacher who spends personal time on assessments and IEPs…
- To every agency or non-profit worker who strives to bring special needs children experiences and opportunities…
To every special needs parent or caregiver who treats that child with love, especially if they are incapable of expressing it back…
How Mouthwash Can Benefit You and Your Family
A mouthwash is a mouthwash is a mouthwash – or so you may think. Sure, some may be green or blue or extra-minty, but really, how different could they be?
Turns out there’s a key difference: Some rinses help you more than others, and some even contain ingredients you should avoid, says Ingvar Magnusson, D.D.S., Ph.D., a research professor in oral biology at the University of Florida College of Dentistry in Gainesville. For example, many rinses have sodium lauryl 
sulfate, which tends to dry and irritate the mouth – especially if you suffer from canker sores. And some studies have found a link between rinses with a high alcohol content (25 percent or more) and oral cancers.
It’s smart to ask your dentist for rinse recommendations that suit your family’s specific dental hygiene needs. But in the meantime, here’s a cheat sheet for your next trip down the mouthwash aisle:
WANT TO …
Help prevent cavities?
- LOOK FOR….Fluoride. Its ability to prevent tooth decay is well-established.
Fight gum disease?
- LOOK FOR….Cetylpyridinium chloride (CPC) or chlorhexidine gluconate. Recent research has shown these ingredients help prevent gingivitis and dental plaque.
Moisten the mouth?
- LOOK FOR….Carboxymethylcellulose or hydroxyethylcellulose, both of which simulate natural saliva. Bonus points if the rinse also contains fluoride, since dry mouth contributes to cavities.
Soothe canker sores or mouth abrasions?
- LOOK FOR….Hydrogen peroxide. It’s a safe bet because it’s antimicrobial without being overly abrasive.
Freshen breath?
- LOOK FOR….Methyl salicylate and chlorhexidine gluconate. These antiseptics help fight the bacteria that contribute to bad breath. Additional herbs, scents and flavorings help mask odor.
Finally, remember that no rinse can take the place of flossing and brushing, which physically scrapes the plaque off your teeth. Rinses may have some impact on preventing gingivitis or tooth decay, but only if used as part of a solid dental-health routine, says Magnusson.
****************************************************************************************************************************
Editor’s Note: Mouth rinses can be great for kids. Our pediatric dentist recommended adding a mouthwash to my 9-year old son’s dental routine for added protection, especially on those days when he rushes the brushing (because, hey, we know it’s happening!). But they specifically recommended a rinse like Crest Pro-Health because it contains the cetylpyridinium chloride (CPC) mentioned above. It’s working great for him and I’ve started using it too. It is quite minty/spicy, but he handles it by making it into a game – jumping or dancing after he’s rinsed, until the spice eases!
Sync with Your Spouse on Discipline Style
Is your wife a strict disciplinarian, while you prefer to let things slide? Is your husband a yeller, while you are an “inside voice” kind of mom? When you have different parenting styles, it can often feel like you’re at odds with your spouse. Here are strategies from Harvey Karp, M.D., author of The Happiest Toddler on the Block (Bantam), for navigating this common parenting conundrum.
Don’t sweep your differences under the rug. To raise happy, well-behaved children, it’s crucial to try to find common ground. Otherwise, kids get mixed messages and quickly learn which parent will let them get away with more. Once a month, hold a “parents only” meeting to discuss your discipline differences. This is your chance to be honest about your concerns. “Write down two or three things each,” says Dr. Karp. “You and he get a turn without interruption. The only ground rule is you both have to listen with respect and speak with respect.” Your goal isn’t to sway each other, but to ultimately come up with some rules that you both feel comfortable enforcing.
Don’t disagree in front of your kids. “Kids look at us as a loving and safe force in their lives,” Dr. Karp says. “Seeing parents arguing, especially about them, shakes them to their foundation.” Kids might get angry or frightened and feel like they’re the “cause” of the parents’ problems – which lowers their confidence and self-esteem. So if you object to the way your spouse is handling a situation resist the urge to say anything until you are alone.
Find creative ways to compromise. Let’s say it drives you crazy that your husband yells at your child when she exhibits normal toddler behavior, like sticking her hand in the cat’s food bowl or pulling away from you while walking on the sidewalk. It drives your husband nuts that you’re lax about situations that could put your child at risk for physical harm. Try to decide together that it’s OK for him to raise his voice when Katie’s darting toward traffic or engaging in other dangerous behavior, but for mild, age-appropriate infractions, he needs to try distraction before yelling or scolding.
Keep family members out of it. “Don’t bring up each other’s family,” says Dr. Karp. For instance, avoid making remarks like, “Of course you yell and scream; you’re just like your father.” Besides being disrespectful, this behavior forces your partner into a defensive mode, making it harder to move forward and find the best solution.
Embrace a little bit of difference. “It’s crazy to expect all the adults in a child’s world to react in exactly the same way,” says Dr. Karp. In fact, by maintaining a dash of your individuality – even when it comes to discipline – “you’re teaching your child emotional intelligence. They learn what they can expect from one adult versus another. And that’s a good thing.”
Does Your Family Need New Web Rules?
As I travel the country working with middleschoolers and high school students to build their self-respect and spread respect for all, I also speak with hundreds of parents. And it’s no surprise that their top concerns are issues like cyberbullying, sexting and online safety.
Keeping kids safe used to be about curfews and “Don’t talk to strangers.” But now, savvy parents are quickly realizing that the Web – and all the devices kids use to get online – needs to be a part of the family rules too.
Here’s my advice to come up with your own set of Web family rules that will keep your kids better protected – and give you some peace of mind:
1. Ask your kids what they think.
Nobody likes rules just handed down to them – and this makes getting compliance with the rules even tougher. Ask your kids: What are your friends or other kids doing online that you think is unsafe? When you’re online, are you ever worried about your safety? See what they say.
Then share your concerns, like: “I know that when you’re on social networks, anyone can talk to you, and I worry about people with bad intentions reaching out to you or trying to meet you offline.” Or “I don’t like cyberbullying either – what can we do about it?”
Also mention any concerns you have about other online privacy issues – like how hackers can steal identities or predators can lift personal information to try and harm your kids offline.
The bottom line: Get their ideas first for your family Web rules. They’ll have great ideas, and they’ll be more likely to buy into the rules if they help create them. Commit to yourself to listen to their ideas – without interrupting or criticizing. At The Respect Institute, the No. 1 way kids tell us they feel respect is: “When people listen to me.” If you listen to them in noticeable ways every day, when your kids face a safety issue online, they will be more likely to open up to you for support.
2. Set the rules.
With a quick Web search, you’ll be able to find many resources to help you round out your rules. Check out NetSmartz.org or IKeepSafe.org for tutorials and tips. Once your family rules are set, talk them through with your kids. Ask your kids to comment on each one, pose questions and suggest changes. When your family rules are final, post them where everyone can see them.
3. Decide on consequences.
Again, have your kids do the work! Ask them what they think should happen if a rule is broken. Add your two cents. (As a parent, you always reserve your right to set the final boundary to keep your kids safe.) Then, write and post the consequences next to the rules.
Most important, create a space where your kids can ask you for help. We are all afraid of getting in trouble if we break the rules, right? But the goal here is to keep your kids safe. And that ultimately comes down to them seeing you as someone they can trust. So even though you’re all setting the rules together, let them know they are guidelines to keep them safe, and that if they ever break a rule or face a situation they don’t know how to handle, they can come to you. Let them know you will listen and you will hold off “freaking out” to support them. In the end, this kind of connection with your kids will go a long way to protect them.
Is Your Family Overeating?
It’s no secret that obesity has become a major health problem in the U.S. — for both adults and kids. Roughly one in five children between the ages of 6 and 11 is obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control, and many more are overweight. So what’s to blame? Lack of exercise and poor food choices are prime suspects. But so is portion control — which for many families has spiraled out of control.
In the last 20 years, people’s idea of a serving size has ballooned, according to the National Institutes of Health. Two decades ago, the average bagel was 3 inches wide and 140 calories; today, it’s 6 inches wide and 350 calories. Back then, cheeseburgers had 330 calories; now they’ve nearly doubled. And the average serving of soda has more than tripled — from 6.5 ounces and 85 calories to 20 ounces and 250 calories.
“The media keeps telling us we need to eat more; everything is just bigger when you see it,” says Dr. Virginia Keane, associate professor of pediatrics at the University of Maryland Medical School. “And we have all-you-can-eat restaurants. We’ve lost control and community knowledge of what’s a normal portion.”
A portion is a fistful — the eater’s fistful, according to Keane. (If you or your child is very active, you may need more. If you’re inactive, you may need less.) Just by reducing your food intake to that amount, you’ll help your family lose weight or at least maintain it. And it’s easier than you think. Here are some suggestions for keeping portions in check:
Cook and eat at home.
The simplest way to avoid supersized portions is to prepare and serve your own meals. The key, according to Keane, is to cook only the amount you’ll need for that meal (no leftovers!) and serve everything on individual plates, not family style. The only exceptions: vegetables and salad. There’s no limit on veggies (as long as they’re not drenched in butter or doused with full-fat dressing), so everyone can take what they want.
Go halvsies.
If you’re at a restaurant, split dishes between two adults. If the kids’ meals are twice the appropriate portion size, do the same with them. If your family tends to eat whatever’s in front of them, ask to have half the portion put in a to-go container before it even hits the table.
Snack smaller.
When you sit down in front of the TV or computer, don’t bring that bag of pretzels or cookies with you. Instead, scoop out a small amount and put it in an individual bowl — and don’t let yourself go back for more. Put the rest of the bag on a top shelf or at least out of sight. Better yet, cut up some fruit and put it in individual bowls. Or pass out fruit roll-ups or cheese sticks — one per person.
Downsize, don’t supersize.
Instead of getting the double-patty cheeseburger with bacon, order the plain junior cheeseburger instead. If your value meal comes with medium fries and drink, opt to go a la carte and order smalls. Ask for a kid-size portion of ice cream instead of one, two or three regular scoops. If it doesn’t feel like enough, remind yourself that that’s what size a serving of ice cream used to be anyhow.
