Teach Gratitude & Give Your Child a Healthier, Happier Life

Research shows us that adults who are grateful report having more energy, fewer health problems, and a greater feeling of well-being than those who complain. Most studies show that the more gratitude we show the healthier and happier we are.

The same goes for children. Children who express gratitude are more appreciative, more empathetic, kinder, more enthusiastic and generally happier. Grateful children look outside themselves and understand that others have needs too. They are more polite, usually better behaved and generally more pleasant to be around.

Kids who are not taught gratitude are forever disappointed and fight feelings of entitlement. They struggle with feelings that nothing will ever be good enough for them.

As parents, “Teaching our Children Gratitude” should be at the top of our to-do list. It doesn’t come naturally to our children. It is learned. Who better to teach, than us?

The first thing we might need to do is stop doing some of the things that parents have been doing for years. Avoid pointing out to our children that they are more blessed than others. That doesn’t teach them to be grateful. When it comes to meals, don’t tell them “you should be grateful for your food and eat it, kids in other countries are starving”. This won’t work either.

Instead…

We need to model gratitude ourselves. We must live lives of gratitude if we want our children to really learn to be grateful. That means they need to see us take care of others, including our spouse, write thank you notes, say “please” and “thank you” and show empathy. That means we need to complain less, criticize less, and strive to point out the positives, not the negative, in situations, and in people. This includes our children and spouses. We need to refrain from complaining about our children (and spouses), instead tell them how grateful we are for them. We need to show gratitude for adversity too. Remember, children will, for the most part, do what their parents do. That is why gratitude has to start with parents, in our homes.

Provide your family opportunities to take care of others. Start by encouraging your children to take care of other family members, and then help them find ways to actively take care of others outside the family. Let them help you as you take care of others. They will learn by example. The goal is to give them “grateful eyes”, so they begin to foresee the need before they have to be told.

Give your children responsibility. We are always more grateful for things when we have to do them ourselves. The same applies to children. Give them appropriate responsibilities. They will realize the effort and energy it takes to accomplish them, and become more grateful for the people around them that do things for them. (Like their mom and dad.)

Teach your children to write Thank you Notes. Insist that this be done. Teach them that it is part of life. Organize a thank you note station in your home that is always stocked with papers, envelopes, stamps and crayons, etc. (Let your children see you sitting there often also). Start when they are very small by having them draw “thank you pictures” and then you write the words to go with it. Then move on to notes that have most of the words filled in. Have children write what it is they are thankful for and sign their name. By the age of 7 or 8, it shouldn’t be a problem for them to write the entire notes themselves. Don’t worry about perfection. Worry that they are remembering to do it. And doing it.

Teach your children to be grateful for adversity. When things are hard, or uncertain, or don’t go as planned, we need to teach our children to be grateful. To recognize the blessings that comes from hard things. We don’t want to teach, “we are luckier, or better than someone else”. Instead help children see what can be learned, and how we can take what we learn into other situations to help others and ourselves.

Say “No”. Our children don’t need everything they ask for. It is important for us to be reasonable and say “No”. We also have to be careful rewarding our children for everything. We want them to do good because it is the right thing to do, and not because they get something, like a new toy or money.

Role Play. Practice saying “please” and “thank you” with your children. Role play situations (grandma gives you a new toy, or someone pays you a compliment). During the role play, talk about how others feel when we show them gratitude. Remember, children aren’t thinking about everyone else. They are thinking about themselves, so we have to teach them.

Point out the simple things. Teach children to be grateful for the creations around them, the seasons, the sunshine, the falling leaves and the rain. Children will quickly understand that there is beauty all around, and that it has come from something much bigger than we are. Celebrate creations. Jump in the leaves, splash in the puddles, and feel the sun on our skin.

With Thanksgiving on our minds, it is a great time to encourage gratitude in our children.

By starting new traditions now, we can hope to encourage gratitude year round. Here are some simply Thanksgiving Traditions that can help our families “think grateful”.

Make a Gratitude Chain

Cut long strips of paper in different colors. Each day have family members, or help little family members, write down something they are thankful for. Take your stapler or tape and hook the strips together to form a chain. Hang it where the family can see it everyday and watch it grow. On Thanksgiving have each person read what they have written throughout the month.

Fill a Gratitude Jar

Any jar will work. Cut up strips of paper and round up some pens and crayons. Put the jar in an obvious place in your home. Everyday until Thanksgiving, have everyone in the family write or draw a picture of something they are thankful for that day and drop it in the jar. Help small children. On Thanksgiving day, pull all the strips out and read them as a family. Talk about how it felt to show increased gratitude all month long.

Have Grateful Hands

Once a week, throughout the month of November, trace the hand of everyone in the family. Sit down every Monday and write down 5 things you have each been thankful for that week. We like to write one in each of the fingers, like feathers. Tape the hands to your kitchen wall throughout the month so everyone can see them. Use the hands as a centerpiece for your Turkey Table. You could even laminate them after the holiday and post all the old ones each year as your children grow. They will love seeing how their hands, and their gratitude has grown.

Gratitude Tree

Head outside and find a few sticks and twigs. Put them in a jar and cover them with some rocks to hold them in place to make your own “tree”. Cut a bunch of leaves out of “fall colored” paper ( or just use tags, or small slips of paper). We have even used real leaves. As you write down what you are thankful for on your leaves, tape them, or tie them to your tree. Use your gratitude tree as your dinner centerpiece on Thanksgiving day

Thankful Tablecloth (My Favorite)

Find a big tablecloth. Or make one the size of your table. You will want a material that has a tight weave and that is smooth. On Thanksgiving Day, trace each person’s hand on the table cloth and write in the middle of the hand something they are thankful for and the year. Fabric markers work best. Each year, on the same cloth, enact the same ritual. Your family will love not only seeing how their hands have grown, but they will love to see what they were thankful for in the past.

Once thanksgiving is over, don’t let the gratitude stop.

• Each night over dinner, have family members express three things they are thankful for that day.
• Encourage your kids to keep a gratitude journal. Help them write down one thing they are thankful for each week. Or, have little ones draw pictures of things they are grateful for. Encourage them to move up to every night.
• Clear a “grateful space” on your fridge. Throughout the year, post anything your family members are thankful for. Encourage family members to contribute. It can become an everyday reminder of the people and blessings your family is thankful for.

Above all things, start by focusing on our own behavior. This in and of itself will help model and teach our children gratitude.

Good Dental Habits Today Create a Lifetime of Healthy Teeth

Habits are behavioral patterns that we repeat over and over again. Unfortunately, we’re often not aware of the specific behavior we are repeating. This goes for our kids as well. Four of the most common habits children develop are the following:

1. nail biting
2. thumb sucking
3. hair twirling
4. nose picking

As a parent, it is your responsibility to help teach your children good habits that are healthy when they are young. This helps them turn good choices into a way of life. We all remember the old adage “do what I say, not what I do”. Well, we all know that doesn’t work with kids. They need to see that you are doing what you are asking them to do. Be sure you are demonstrating good dental habits to your kids first and foremost.

Let’s talk about good dental hygiene habits for kids. Now that school is back in session and summer has come to an end, children are getting back into more structured daily routines. This is a great time to get your child started on a daily schedule of brushing and flossing their teeth. If their routine has been relaxed over the summer, it’s time for more consistency. Brushing at least twice a day and flossing once a day is very important for healthy teeth. Encourage your kids to be responsible when it comes to brushing and flossing the older they get.

Another important habit to form is to get them on a routine cleaning schedule at your dentist every six months as recommended. This will help them understand the importance of caring for their teeth at a young age.

There are so many things to do at the end of the day but don’t let brushing and flossing your kid’s teeth fall through the cracks!

Halloween 2009 – Happy, Healthy and Safe

I start writing this and I almost feel like I want to apologize…because instead of writing about all the “scary things” our kids are going to be this Halloween, I write instead about all the scary things we need to protect them from. So I’d like to propose a deal: I’ll share with you some of the best tips I’ve found to keep our kids safe this year (…thank you Child Safety Examiner, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and Dr Kristie McNealy)…and then I’ll share with you my favorite not so scary safety tip that should be good for at least a few smiles…and maybe between the two, we’ll find our way to a happy, healthy and safe Halloween together. 

Trick-or-Treat…Safely

1. (CSE) Make sure your child’s costume is comfortable and manageable. Avoid top heavy costumes that could topple him, or flowing, trailing costumes that could get wound around her feet and cause her to fall. Avoid using anything around the neck that may pose a strangulation hazard.
2. (NCMEC) Make sure children are able to see and breathe properly and easily when using facial masks. All costumes and masks should be clearly marked as flame resistant. (CSE) For the littlest trick-or-treaters, you may want to avoid masks all together. Choose a fun hat or headpiece, or a dab of allergen-free makeup instead. (Pediatric Safety note: Please keep in mind that recent studies have found that many face paints have lead and other toxic ingredients, so research any face paints carefully before applying http://ow.ly/xldL )
3. (CSE) Avoid using real candles in pumpkins on doorsteps, and keep an eye out for them at homes you visit. Trailing costumes or props could get too close and catch fire, or the pumpkin could tip over. Opt for battery operated instead.
4. (CSE) If your kids will be trick-or-treating in the dark, make sure they have flashlights or glow-sticks and remind them to stay on the alert for traffic.
5. (CSE) Remind kids not to eat or drink anything that is given to them until a parent looks it over first. This includes not only Halloween treats, but any potions or weird substances that might be part of a haunted house or Halloween decorations. Make sure kids know that even though things may look like food, they might not be. Feed your kids a meal or small snack before they head out so they’ll be less tempted to sample candy along the way before you’ve had the chance to check it out.
6. (CSE) When checking kids’ loot, be on the lookout for food your child may be allergic to, as well as any recalled foods or items that may pose a choking hazard for kids under 5.

Don’t Let Food Allergies Spoil the Fun

1. (Dr McNealy) Review the Rules – If they are old enough to understand, remind your child which foods are safe, and which are not. If there are candies or treats that they should be sure to avoid, discuss that. Tell them to bring their loot to you, so you can be sure to remove anything that might be harmful. Also let them know what to do if they do eat something that they might be allergic too.
2. (Dr McNealy) Read Labels: When you check over your kid’s Halloween candy, remember to read labels. Formulations change pretty frequently, so you should even check foods that have been safe in the past. Remove anything that doesn’t have an ingredient list.
3. (Dr McNealy) Keep Your Epi-Pen or Allergy Medication Handy: Remember that accidents happen, and be prepared as usual with your child’s epi-pen, or whatever medication your doctor recommends for an allergic reaction.
4. (Dr McNealy) Keep Safe Treats on Hand: Keep some safe candy, treats or small toys on hand to replace anything you have to confiscate. If you have the chance, you can even make up a few treat bags to drop with friends or neighbors, so you’ll know that at least a few people on your trick-or-treat route will have surprises that your child can keep and enjoy.

And Unfortunately Because There are Predators Out There…

1. (NCMEC) Be sure older children TAKE FRIENDS and younger children are accompanied by a TRUSTED ADULT when “Trick or Treating.”
2. (NCMEC) Accompany younger children to the door of every home they approach and make sure parents and guardians are familiar with every home and all people from which the children receive treats.
3. (NCMEC) Teach children to NEVER approach a home that is not well lit both inside and outside and NEVER enter a home without prior permission from their parents or guardians.
4. (NCMEC) Remind them to NEVER approach a vehicle, occupied or not, unless they are accompanied by a parent or guardian.
5. (NCMEC) Children should be cautioned to run away immediately from people who try to lure them with special treats. Tell them that if anyone tries to grab them to make a scene; loudly yell this person is not my father/mother/guardian; and make every effort to get away by kicking, screaming, and resisting.

If all else fails, take man’s best friend along…

…that should surely chase away anything that goes bump in the night…or at least keep the kids entertained while you steal – I mean sort through all their candy. HAVE A SAFE & HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

 ***************************************************************************************************************************

References:

1. Basic Safety Halloween Precautions and Tips for Adults and Kids: Oregon State Police Missing Children Clearinghouse and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
2.  Top 10 Halloween Safety Tips for Families: Child Safety Examiner October 28, 2009
3.  Trick-or-Treat Food Allergy Safety: Dr Kristie McNealy October 26, 200
4. Thanks also go out to PediatricSafety’s EMS Safety Expert Jim Love for our “man’s best friend” photos.

Quick Change Crib

It was 2am and my husband and I had finally fallen asleep, when our slumber was shattered by the cries of our 3 month old daughter. It was my turn to get up. I found that the little one had done it again – she needed to be changed AND so did her crib sheet. Of course it wasn’t her fault, but it was 2am and the crib sheet needed changing again? A necessary evil, I supposed. A baby needs a clean bed and you have to do what you have to do. But, the thought was overwhelming!

Why? Because it is not an easy task. I, like most people, had the crib set up with bumpers and toys so the baby can be safe and stimulated. In addition, crib mattresses are now required by US regulations to fit very snugly in the frame – again for safety reasons. While safe, it presents quite a problem when you go to change the sheet. You can’t fit your fingers between the sheet and the crib frame to get enough leverage to pull the sheet off and put a new one on. You literally have to pull the entire mattress out and stand it up in the crib to change the sheet. Of course, you can’t do that with the bumpers and the toys on. Aaarggghhh! All this, of course, at 2 am with a baby screaming!

This is a critical decision point in a parent’s life…. brave the task of spending the next 10 minutes cursing and fumbling or take an easier, if more dangerous, route. It is at this time when moms and dads are simply exhausted that they may make a poor decision. Research shows that many parents put a blanket or towel over the soiled sheets; others take their baby back into the bed with them. Both of these options are not ideal – a baby needs to sleep in a clean environment and sleeping with your baby in the same bed can be dangerous (e.g., suffocation).  In fact, according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, more than 60 children younger than two years suffocate each year after being placed to sleep in adult beds.

So, after struggling through one more 2am change,and trying hard to fight off the strong desire to just let my daughter sleep in my bed, I set out to create a crib that would make it easy for parents to choose the cleanest, safest option when it came time to change those sheets.  I knew that the Juvenile Products Manufacturing Association (JPMA) consistently states that parents should follow the “A, B, C’s” for infants: “A”lone (no loose blankets or stuffed animals), on their “B”ack (sleeping position) and in a “C”rib (not in parents’ bed).  With this in mind, I began the long journey of research with parents, understanding regulations and safety standards, designing and re-designing and patenting my invention. The result? The Quick Change Crib!

The Quick Change Crib has a patented “door” cleverly hidden into the headboard that opens so that parents can slide the mattress out horizontally, change the sheet, and slide it back in without ever having to remove toys, mobiles or bumpers; it literally can be done in 30 seconds. So now we have clean, healthy, safe baby…and definitely more well-rested mom and dad. Think of the extra time you save as more quality time with your baby.

The Quick Change Crib is certified safe by JPMA and and we participate in random quarterly testing through an independent laboratory that tests against CPSCA and ASTM standards. We have also won numerous awards for innovation and design (Whirlpool Mother of Invention Grand Prize Winner, NAPPA- National Parenting Publications Awards, Outstanding Product 2007 by iParenting Media Awards, etc.) and have been written about in leading magazines and journals.

The support for our crib has been undeniable…from Moms and Dads, the press, as well as from recent research. A 2009 study of unmet needs in cribs found that:

• 82% of parents believe that ease of use is a very important feature of a child’s crib, compared to 33% believing that design is very important and 17% who believe color is important;
• 97% of experienced moms and Dads find ease of use of the crib especially important;
• 72% of parents agree that changing the crib sheet is more frustrating than they expected.
• Nearly 60% of parents report that changing the crib sheet or lifting the mattress is “extremely difficult” or “very frustrating,” compared with 7 percent for changing a diaper.

This whole journey has been simply unbelievable. My parents always used to tell me “wait until you have kids!” whenever I questioned something they said or did, so I expected that my perspective on things might change, but I never expected being a mom would catapult me into a whole new business!   I am, and have been for the last 15 years, a principal partner with a boutique management consulting company, but turning my crib idea into reality has been been like a lifetime of learning squashed into a few short years. I have my kids to thank for that (oh, yeah, and my parents, my husband, my business partner and a whole lot of other supportive people!).  Thank you for the opportunity to share my story and I can’t wait to read yours!

HEALTHFUL HINTS:

JPMA Safety tips for selecting your first crib: 

•  This first “home” should be cheerful and secure. Each year, approximately 50 babies suffocate or strangle when they become trapped between broken crib parts or in cribs with older, unsafe designs. Many older cribs, including the one that was used for you or your younger children, do not meet all current safety standards. Even if you are on a tight budget, you should not purchase an old crib at a garage sale or accept a hand-me-down that does not meet the following guidelines
• Infants should ALWAYS sleep in a crib, which meets current Federal and ASTM standards.
• The crib mattress should fit snugly with no more than two fingers width, one-inch, between the edge of the mattress and the crib side. Otherwise, the baby can get trapped between the mattress and the side of the crib.
• No pillow-like bumpers.
• Look for the JPMA Certification Seal.

easidream

Hello, I’m Lynda, mum to six lovable and lively children and inventor of easidream®

When my sixth child, Bradley was born, he cried constantly and it was a nightly struggle to settle him to sleep…a struggle that went on until he was two and a half years old! I tried everything to soothe him off to sleep, but I discovered that the most reliable way was to lean over the cot sides and create a ‘rocking cot’ motion by moving the mattress up and down. Having scoured shops and the internet for any product that would replicate this movement (and relieve my backache!), I realised that there was nothing suitable out there, so I went on to take the ‘massive step’ of developing a product of my own – easidream®

For the next few years I researched the problem as deeply as possible, canvassing valuable input from sleep experts, university departments and medical professionals like midwives, child psychologists and paediatricians. I also consulted with the baby care industry and product design teams and, of course, surveyed many parents with young babies. At last, after a 7-year gestation easidream® was born!

The finished product has been meticulously designed and researched. I considered it was essential for easidream® to undergo proper scientific trials to validate its efficiency… it was no good just me saying it worked, I needed to be 100% sure that it did! I embarked on a year long period of research in conjunction with University of Brighton medical experts, which involved testing both the moving platform and the soothing sounds on a wide selection of babies. These studies not only revealed just how effective easidream® was at promoting healthy sleep patterns, but also showed that it encourages parents to adopt safe sleep practices.

The findings revealed:

• Average crying time on easidream® was reduced from 18 minutes to less than 1 minute
• All of the babies that took part in the trials remained happily settled on their backs; great news in respect of SIDS
• Time to settle to sleep in some cases was reduced by up to 95%

We all know that when a new baby arrives, uninterrupted sleep is rare and we have to adapt to shorter, broken nights and savour every moment of sleep we can catch. But although we think our bodies are coping with just a few ‘catnaps’ a night, continuous lack of sleep eventually catches up on us all; it’s vitally important that we understand just how crucial sleep is to the whole family’s well being… not just for healthy child development, but also for the general health and well being of everyone in the household. Did you know that it has been proven that well rested children develop faster, are healthier and have fewer behavioural problems? With adults, lack of sleep has been proven to affect both memory and cognitive skills…. What more can I say? I was determined to invent a product that would not only help soothe particularly fractious babies, but also promote the formation of a healthy sleep pattern, so both babies and parents could benefit from a good night’s rest.

easidream® actually assists in encouraging the formation of a healthy sleep pattern plus it encourages babies to self settle on their back in the cot, which is great news in the fight against SIDS. It also solves the problem of sleep deprivation for the whole family by rewarding them with those valuable hours of sleep they so richly deserve.  End result: happy, healthier babies and happy, healthier parents!

HEALTHFUL HINTS:

1. Putting babies to sleep
   • Make sure you place your baby with their feet at the foot of the cot (but not touching the end of the cot) , to reduce the likelihood of the baby wriggling down and becoming overheated underneath any cot bedding, which may end up over the baby’s head. Overheating has been shown to greatly increase the likelihood of a SIDS related incident occurring. 
   • Also, remove soft toys from the cot, as they too could increase your baby’s temperature to an unsafe level.  This is why ewan, our dream sheep, is secured to the cot bars and not positioned directly in line with your baby’s head, just in case he becomes detached – although this is extremely unlikely! (Some of our website shots are at an angle that may look like ewan is close to the head, but I can assure you he’s not!)
   • Always ensure your baby is placed to sleep on their back; again this is incredibly important in reducing the likelihood of a SIDS incident occurring. (The beauty of easidream® is that it has been proven to actually help baby’s settle to sleep on their backs and so parents are more likely to follow the recommended safe sleep guidelines.)
   • While all of this is consistent with the American Academy of Pediatrics Guidelines for Safe Sleeping , each baby is unique.   Always remember to ask your doctor what’s best for your baby’s sleep.
2. If they wake up or refuse to sleep:
   • …it is extremely important that you go and check your baby to determine the reason why. We have spent a great deal of time researching this particular area and having consulted medical professionals, and it is why we decided against having an automatic sound activated feature or a remote control that would “restart” the soother. As this is such a vulnerable age group, we consider it vitally important that parents return to their baby to remedy any problem – dirty nappy, thirsty, hungry etc. For healthy, happy sleep times we believe that interaction with your baby is vital and we strongly encourage this practise.

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