My Child is Sick: New Book Tells Parents When to Call the Doctor

Have you ever debated about whether your child’s symptoms warranted a call to the doctor or not? Wondered if your kid was sick enough to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night or if it was okay to wait until the morning to go to the doctor’s office instead? Worried whether you were doing the right things to treat your child’s symptoms at home? Then a new book from Dr. Barton D. Schmitt may be just what the doctor ordered.

My Child is Sick!: Expert Advice for Managing Common Illnesses and Injuries is a new reference guide designed to help parents find answers fast to questions about treating the illnesses and injuries they are most likely to encounter while raising kids. This easy to use guide offers the same expert advice and guidance given by doctors and nurses in 10,000 practices and 400 nurse call centers in the United States and Canada and using the Pediatric Telephone Protocols which have been tested for 15 years on over 150 million phone calls. Now all of that advice is yours in one practical reference guide.

The author, Dr. Barton D. Schmitt is a professor of pediatrics at the University of Colorado School of Medicine medical director of the After-Hours Call Center at The Children’s Hospital in Aurora, Colorado. Dr. Schmitt is also the author of Pediatric Telephone Protocols: Office-Hours version (12th edition, 2009), published by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), and Your Child’s Health (Bantam Books). Dr. Schmitt’s purpose in writing the book was to assist parents in determining when it is necessary to call a doctor about their child’s symptoms and how to treat the child at home if a doctor’s care is not required.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “inside this practical guide, parents will find:

• Straightforward information on the most common illnesses and injuries of childhood
• Decision charts to help care givers determine when to call the doctor and when it’s safe to treat symptoms at home, as well as descriptions of which symptoms are normal during the course of an illness or recovery from an injury and which are cause for concern.
• Specific time-frame guidelines as to when to call the doctor or 911.
• In-depth advice for treating symptoms at home, taking the guesswork out of how to make little ones feel better.
• Drug dosage charts for the most commonly used non-prescription medicines.

With My Child is Sick at their fingertips, parents will never again have to worry about whether they’ve made the right decision about their child’s illness or injury.”

The 50 most common illnesses and injuries children are likely to face are outlined in order of areas of the body, and offer specific instructions on when to call the child’s doctor, when to call 911 or emergency services, and how to treat the illness or injury at home and offers information for children of all ages, from newborns to teenagers.

Parents may be tempted to think a book is unnecessary in this digital age where answers are abundant on the internet but if you’ve ever searched an illness or injury online before, you may already know that there is an overwhelming amount of information and advice to wade through and in some cases, not all of the information or advice is accurate or from an expert source. This book has accurate, expert guidance in a quick, easy to use format that can save parents time, money (if it saves you from making a trip to the doctor that wasn’t necessary), and a lot of worry.

After reviewing Part 1: Head or Brain Symptoms, which covers crying, head injuries, and headaches, I was glad to find that it is not written in “medical jargon” or “doctor speak” but easy to understand with clear instructions on what to do. I highly recommend parents have this book on hand in an handy location where it is easy to find in an emergency. It would even make a great baby shower gift for new parents. The book can be purchased online at the major online book retailer’s websites and may be available in your local bookstore.

November is National Adoption Month: Help a Child Celebrate

Did you know it would take less than one percent of the U.S. population to provide a forever family for every child in foster care available for adoption? November is National Adoption Month and Pediatric Safety as a member of Global Influence is participating in a coordinated effort between Adopt Us Kids, the U.S. Children’s Bureau, Ad Council, and Child Welfare Information Gateway to make the difference of a lifetime for about 130,000 children who deserve a family of their own.

The mission of Adopt Us Kids is to recruit and connect foster and adoptive families with waiting children throughout the United States. Funded by the Children’s Bureau of the Administration for Children and Families, the national photolisting website contains photos and information about children in foster care.

If you’re considering foster parenting or adopting…

• The Adopt Us Kids website has information about foster parenting, the seven step journey to fostering/adoption, and lots more useful information.
• Information about adoption subsidies is available
• Every state has its own guidelines on adoption. You can find this information here
• You can search for children in your state or area who are in need of an adoptive family here at the Adopt Us Kids website:
• If you would like to speak with someone regarding the adoption process, you can reach AdoptUsKids at 1-888-200-4005.

A national adoption public service advertising recruitment campaign was launched in July 2004 in a partnership of the Children’s Bureau, the Ad Council, and Adopt Us Kids, with the goal of raising awareness of the significant number of children in this country waiting to be adopted. New Public Service Announcements have been developed as an extension of this highly successful campaign.

If you just want to help…

• Please visit http://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care-advocacy/ to learn more about adoption from foster care and how to help spread the word about children in care waiting for a forever family.
• Follow @perfectparent or @adoptuskids
• Become a fan of AdoptUsKids on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/AdoptUsKids.

Adoption/fostering is not for everyone, but there are things that you can do, such as provide respite care for families and lots more! You can reach out to your state rep (contact info here) to get more info.

Each one of us can play a role in helping a child find their forever family…

This campaign is brought to you by Global Influence, the former Momfluence network.

7 Steps to Modeling Respect for Your Children

Most parents expect their children to respect them. What are you doing to model respect? Here are seven simple steps to living with respect in your relationships.

• Be a good listener – Give your child your undivided attention when they are speaking to you.
• Be fair – Consider your child’s viewpoint and experience before stating your opinion.
• Be honest – Tell the truth. Be accountable when you make a mistake.
• Be polite – Use the manners that you expect of your children.
• Be positive – Focus on the positive side of life. Your child deserves a role model that “lifts them up.” Compliment your children, observe what they do well and celebrate it.
• Be reliable – Keep your promises. Show your child that you mean what you say. Do as you say and say as you do. Children see the truth through a clearer lens than do adults.
• Be trustworthy – Keep your children’s heart-felt feelings and experiences private, show them that you can be a trusted adult who cares about their feelings and their self-esteem.

Showing your children that you respect them through your words and actions encourages your children to respect themselves, you and others.

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*This post reflects Dr Kenney’s “The Family Coach Method” used in practice for a number of years, and released for publication just this past September. The Family Coach Method is ‘rug-level,’ friendly and centered on the concept of families as a winning team – with dozens of age-appropriate sample conversations and problem solving scenarios to guide a family to the desired place of mutual respect, shared values and strengths. The goal is to help children to develop the life skills, judgment and independence that can help them navigate the challenges of an increasingly complex world. The Family Coach Method is also being taught as an Educational Series where parents can join with other moms and dads in live calls with Dr Kenney.

First Year Developmental Milestones: Learn the Signs…Act Early

Have you ever wondered how your child is growing and developing compared to other children of the same age? It wouldn’t be unusual if you have.  Skills such as taking a first step, smiling for the first time, and waving “bye bye” are called developmental milestones, and they have often held a special place in the bragging hearts of grandparents everywhere.  There is however another side to developmental milestones.  One that is even more valuable to parents. 

Although no two children grow at the same rate, experts agree there are “normal” signs of development.   Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (crawling, walking, etc.).  Given the reports that have been published recently about the increased findings of autism in the US, it is not surprising that more and more parents are searching for information to help them identify signs of delayed development.   Knowing that early recognition and action have the potential to make a difference, the CDC has incorporated some wonderful information on developmental milestones from the AAP into the Learn the Signs…Act Early pages of their site and provided access to some terrific resources to help if assistance is needed.

Here are the milestones you can monitor for your child’s first year…   

By 3 months of age:

Social and Emotional

• Begins to develop a social smile
• Enjoys playing with other people and may cry when playing stops
• Becomes more expressive and communicates more with face and body
• Imitates some movements and facial expressions

 Movement

• Raises head and chest when lying on stomach
• Supports upper body with arms when lying on stomach
• Stretches legs out and kicks when lying on stomach or back
• Opens and shuts hands
• Pushes down on legs when feet are placed on a firm surface
• Brings hand to mouth
• Takes swipes at dangling objects with hands
• Grasps and shakes hand toys

Vision

• Watches faces intently
• Follows moving objects
• Recognizes familiar objects and people at a distance
• Starts using hands and eyes in coordination

Hearing and Speech

• Smiles at the sound of your voice
• Begins to babble
• Begins to imitate some sounds
• Turns head toward direction of sound

By 7 months of age:

Social and Emotional

• Enjoys social play
• Interested in mirror images
• Responds to other people’s expressions of emotion and appears joyful often

 Cognitive

• Finds partially hidden object
• Explores with hands and mouth
• Struggles to get objects that are out of reach

 Language

• Responds to own name
• Begins to respond to “no”
• Can tell emotions by tone of voice
• Responds to sound by making sounds
• Uses voice to express joy and displeasure
• Babbles chains of sounds

 Movement

• Rolls both ways (front to back, back to front)
• Sits with, and then without, support on hands
• Supports whole weight on legs
• Reaches with one hand
• Transfers object from hand to hand
• Uses hand to rake objects

 Vision

• Develops full color vision
• Distance vision matures
• Ability to track moving objects improves

By 12 months of age:

Social and Emotional

• Shy or anxious with strangers
• Cries when mother or father leaves
• Enjoys imitating people in his play
• Shows specific preferences for certain people and toys
• Tests parental responses to his actions during feedings
• Tests parental responses to his behavior
• May be fearful in some situations
• Prefers mother and/or regular caregiver over all others
• Repeats sounds or gestures for attention
• Finger-feeds himself
• Extends arm or leg to help when being dressed

Cognitive

• Explores objects in many different ways (shaking, banging, throwing, dropping)
• Finds hidden objects easily
• Looks at correct picture when the image is named
• Imitates gestures
• Begins to use objects correctly (drinking from cup, brushing hair, dialing phone, listening to receiver)

 Language

• Pays increasing attention to speech
• Responds to simple verbal requests
• Responds to “no”
• Uses simple gestures, such as shaking head for “no”
• Babbles with inflection (changes in tone)
• Says “dada” and “mama”
• Uses exclamations, such as “Oh-oh!”
• Tries to imitate words

 Movement

• Reaches sitting position without assistance
• Crawls forward on belly
• Assumes hands-and-knees position
• Creeps on hands and knees
• Gets from sitting to crawling or prone (lying on stomach) position
• Pulls self up to stand
• Walks holding on to furniture
• Stands momentarily without support
• May walk two or three steps without support

 Hand and Finger Skills

• Uses pincer grasp
• Bangs two objects together
• Puts objects into container
• Takes objects out of container
• Lets objects go voluntarily
• Pokes with index finger
• Tries to imitate scribbling

As a parent, you know your child best. If your child is not meeting the milestones for his or her age, or if you think there could be a problem you do have resources:

• call your child’s pediatrician and share your concerns – don’t wait.  If you or your child’s doctor think there may be a delay, ask for a referral to a specialist who can do a more in-depth evaluation of your child.
• call your state’s public early childhood system to request a free evaluation to find out if your child qualifies for intervention services. This is sometimes called a Child Find evaluation. You do not need to wait for a doctor’s referral or a medical diagnosis to make this call.  To find the contact for your state, call National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities (NICHCY) at 1-800-695-0285 or visit the NICHCY website.
• there is some great information on the CDC website If You’re Concerned page about “What to Say” when you call and “What to Do” while you’re waiting for help.
• A page of Links to Useful Sites:  Parenting and Family Support;  Healthcare Providers that offer testing and intervention resources;  Childcare and Early Education resources

Watch for these milestones in your child over time and don’t make any judgements based on a single day. Remember, each child is different and may learn and grow at a different rate. However, if your child cannot do many of the skills listed for his or her age group, you should consult your pediatrician.  According to developmental specialists Joyce Powell and Dr Charles Smith, remember to take into account if your child was born sooner than his or her due date and be sure to deduct the number of months early from his or her age. A 5-month-old born 2 months early would be expected to show the same skills as a 3-month-old who was born on his or her due date. 

Please remember, you are the most important observer of your child’s development.  You will know before anyone if there is a delay in reaching any of their key milestones.   The good news is, the earlier it’s recognized the more you can do to help your child reach his or her full potential.

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Milestone Work Referenced:

• From CARING FOR YOUR BABY AND YOUNG CHILD: BIRTH TO AGE 5 by Steven Shelov, Robert E. Hannermann, © 1991, 1993, 1998, 2004 by the American Academy of Pediatrics.
• Powell, J. and Smith, C.A. (1994). The 1st year. In *Developmental milestones: A guide for parents*. Manhattan, KS: Kansas State University Cooperative Extension Service. 

Bully-Proofing Solutions: What To Do If Your Child Is Bullied

We usually think of bullying as physical aggression such as punching, hitting, shoving, but it’s way beyond that. If your kid is being bullied or harassed that means his friend or peers are hurting him intentionally. As a result, your son or daughter feels powerless, helpless, humiliated, shamed, and hopeless about the whole situation. A bully can “attack” her victim verbally (spreading rumors), saying prejudicial comments or cruel ‘put downs’), emotionally (excluding, humiliating, hazing); as well as sexually harassment. The two biggest mistakes parents make are not taking their children’s complaints seriously and telling them to “toughen up,” and allowing it in the first place. There is no excuse for this behavior, and each and every one of us need to be on the same page to stop it. Here are a few solutions from THE BIG BOOK OF PARENTING SOLUTIONS to help you handle these rougher waters of parenting.

Take your child seriously. Bullying is frightening and humiliating at any age, so listen to your child. Don’t say: “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” “Just toughen up.” “It’ll go away.” “You’re making too big a deal out of this.” Instead, reassure your child that you believe him and will find a way to keep him safe.

Gather facts. Next, you need all the facts so you can help your kid create a plan to stop it. “What happened?” “Who did this?” “Where were you?” “Who was there?” “Were you alone?” “Has it happened before?” “How often?” “How does it start?” “What did you do?” “Do you think he’ll do it again?” “Did anyone help you?” “Did an adult see this?”

Don’t make promises. You may have to protect your child, so make no promises to keep things confidential. “I want to make sure you don’t get hurt, so I can’t guarantee I won’t tell. Let’s see what we can do so this doesn’t happen again.”

Offer specific tips for a plan of action. Most kids can’t handle bullying on their own: they need your help, so provide it. For instance: “I will pick you up after swimming. Don’t take the bus.” “Where can you play instead of by the swings?” “How can you have your books with you so you don’t have to go to your locker?” Bullying usually happens in unsupervised areas so tell your kid to be near others at lunch, recess, in hallways, near lockers, parks, or other areas. Tell your child there’s safety in numbers. “Stay with Kevin at recess.” “Sit with Josh on the bus. He’ll keep an eye out for you.” Kids who have even one friend to confide in can deal with bullying better than those on their own.

Identify a trusting adult who can help your child when you’re not around. They must take this seriously, protect your kid, and, if necessary, keep this confidential.

Create a comeback. Bullies rarely just go away, so offer ways to handle a bully if he must face him (though it’s often best to avoid him altogether). Pleading (“Please stop that”) or feeling-laden messages (“It really makes feel mad when you do that”) rarely work. Bullies want to get their victim upset, and so such comments just means they won. A firm, direct statement such as “Cut it out” or “Leave me alone” are usually best. Sometimes a humorous comeback can derail a bully: “Can you do this later?” “Now why would you say that?” or “Thanks for telling me.” Once your child agrees on a strategy, you must rehearse it until he feels confident to use it alone. A big part of success is the ability to deliver it assertively.

Teach how to use assertive body language. Research finds that kids who learn how to be assertive and appear more confident are less likely to be targeted by bullies. In fact, studies show it’s usually not how “different” your child looks or acts, but rather her insecure posture that makes her an easy target. The real secret is to help your child learn to “look assertive” and that means you can’t appear to be a doormat (when everyone walks on you) or a steamroller (you push everyone to get what you want). You want to look somewhere in between: cool and confident.

Boost self-confidence. Being bullied dramatically affects your child’s self-esteem, so find ways to boost her confidence. A few possibilities including learning martial arts, boxing, or weight-lifting. Find an avenue—such as a hobby, interest, sport, or talent–that your kid enjoys and can excel. Then help her develop the skill so her self-esteem grows. Or encourage your child to join safe kid activities at school or in the community. First, it may help your child make new friends and gain a much-needed support group; second, it will be a place of safety to go after school.

Step in when needed. If there’s ever the possibility your child could be injured–step in. Tell those directly responsible for your child like his teacher, coach, day-care worker. If you do not get assurance, go up a level: call the principal, superintendent, school board or police. If you need to meet with school officials, the bully’s parents, or law enforcement officers, keep records and evidence: torn clothing; threatening email; witness names and phone numbers and details.

Keep the lines of communication open with you child. Let him know in no uncertain terms: “You know you can always come to me.” “I’m so glad you told me.” “Let’s keep talking about what to do so you’re safe.” Above all, be vigilante, and don’t let up until your child feels safe

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Dr Borba’s new book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, is one of the most comprehensive parenting book for kids 3 to 13. This down-to-earth guide offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and much more. Each of the 101 challenging parenting issues includes specific step-by-step solutions and practical advice that is age appropriate based on the latest research . The Big Book of Parenting Solutions has just been released and is now available at amazon.com

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