Schooling My Autistic Child

My son started school at the age of three. He attended a special needs public school in a small town. It was scary for me. I cried off and on all day, worrying about him and hoping he didn’t think that I abandoned him. At the time, I didn’t know if he understood what was going on around him. He was nonverbal, and still is. The difference between now and then, I now know he can understand me and he can use an augmentative communication device to communicate his thoughts.

My worrying was for nothing. He had a great time. In the next three years, I new he was in a safe environment. My only concern was that we were not seeing much progress in his developmental skills. He wasn’t demonstrating any understanding of the basic concepts like shapes, numbers, or colors. My husband and I decided it was time for a change.

We moved to a bigger city that was close by. I had researched the schools and thought that they would be better for my son. The teachers had more training and there were dedicated autism classrooms. After the move, it was one battle after another. At first, the new school system did not want to recognize my son’s diagnosis. Instead, they wanted to place him in a special needs classroom in a school that I wasn’t sure would be a good fit.

I went to the school and enrolled him. My daughter was two years old and was a climber. She would climb up onto the couch where I was sitting and filling out paperwork. The principal would come out and tell her to get down, and say that you don’t stand on furniture at school. This really irritated me, because I was right there and my daughter was only two years old. I let it go. I met with my son’s teacher and got a bad feeling. She didn’t know anything about autism and didn’t know anything about working with a nonverbal child. Again, I let it go and prepared for the first day of school.

I took my son to school on the first day and he fell down in the parking lot. His knee was bleeding really bad. I took him inside and looked for help. The principal was the first person to ask me if I needed anything. I asked for help getting my son’s knee cleaned up. She said all they had was soap and water. I was mad. Soap and water for a really bad scrape that needed a disinfectant. I understood that they could not administer anything else without parental permission, but I was right there. I could have done it. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I told her that there was no way my son was attending this school and left.

After a week of talking with the school board, my son’s diagnosis of autism was accepted and a placement was found at a different school with a dedicated autism classroom. This time, I met with both the new school’s principal and the teacher that my son would be assigned to. I also brought my son and daughter with me. I was happy with the way we were treated. I was put at ease with the exchange of questions and answers. I was satisfied that my son would be safe there.

Unfortunately, a year and a half later, my son was still not showing any progress. I knew that the key to any progress would be finding a way for my son to communicate. Frustrated with status quo, I finally took him out of school and began home schooling him. It was the best decision I ever made. He made a great deal of progress. We found a way for him to communicate and discovered that he had learned a great deal that no one was aware he was learning. I home schooled my son for a year and a half before he convinced me to let him go back to public school.

At that point, we had moved back to the small town we lived in previously. I made arrangements for him to attend the special needs public school he had previously attended. I could tell that the staff didn’t really believe that my son could do and knew the things he did. I knew the key would be whether or not my son would communicate with them and demonstrate his ability and knowledge. I made sure he understood that if he didn’t, I would have to pull him back out and resume home schooling. My son didn’t want this. Within a week, he was communicating with the staff and they were believers.

Everyday is still a struggle. My son made some progress the first year back in a public school, but I know he can do better. He has just started his second year and his teacher and I are going to work closely to ensure my son can reach his full potential. In the last seven years, I have learned a lot about how to work with the public school system to help my son. I have learned that the right staff working with my son makes the biggest difference. It doesn’t matter how many hours of OT or Speech my son receives, as long as there is constant communication between the therapists, my son’s teacher and myself. The hard work occurs in the classroom. My son’s therapist make sure his teacher and her assistants are utilizing the correct resources and techniques to help my son the most. I make sure they have my full support.

When I disagree with a member of the staff, we discuss it in a team meeting. Everyone works together to come up with a solution. I have learned that it is important that both sides are able to compromise. It is important to be open to everyone’s thoughts and ideas. I have also learned that when I relay my thoughts and opinions in a calm and logical manner, I am taken seriously and the staff is open to what I say.

I advocate for my son everyday. I am always prepared to change gears and approach a problem from a different angle. Sometimes I am wrong, and I have to accept it. Sometimes, I am right and nothing will back me down. In the future, I may have to consider a different placement for my son. It depends on him and his progress. I will make mistakes and feel the weight of guilt for each one. I will make great choices and be relieved when I see how they benefit my son. I will keep going everyday, making sure my son’s needs are met. That’s all we can do as parents. We take each day as it comes, and do what is the best for our child.

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Quick Change Crib

It was 2am and my husband and I had finally fallen asleep, when our slumber was shattered by the cries of our 3 month old daughter. It was my turn to get up. I found that the little one had done it again – she needed to be changed AND so did her crib sheet. Of course it wasn’t her fault, but it was 2am and the crib sheet needed changing again? A necessary evil, I supposed. A baby needs a clean bed and you have to do what you have to do. But, the thought was overwhelming!

Why? Because it is not an easy task. I, like most people, had the crib set up with bumpers and toys so the baby can be safe and stimulated. In addition, crib mattresses are now required by US regulations to fit very snugly in the frame – again for safety reasons. While safe, it presents quite a problem when you go to change the sheet. You can’t fit your fingers between the sheet and the crib frame to get enough leverage to pull the sheet off and put a new one on. You literally have to pull the entire mattress out and stand it up in the crib to change the sheet. Of course, you can’t do that with the bumpers and the toys on. Aaarggghhh! All this, of course, at 2 am with a baby screaming!

This is a critical decision point in a parent’s life…. brave the task of spending the next 10 minutes cursing and fumbling or take an easier, if more dangerous, route. It is at this time when moms and dads are simply exhausted that they may make a poor decision. Research shows that many parents put a blanket or towel over the soiled sheets; others take their baby back into the bed with them. Both of these options are not ideal – a baby needs to sleep in a clean environment and sleeping with your baby in the same bed can be dangerous (e.g., suffocation).  In fact, according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, more than 60 children younger than two years suffocate each year after being placed to sleep in adult beds.

So, after struggling through one more 2am change,and trying hard to fight off the strong desire to just let my daughter sleep in my bed, I set out to create a crib that would make it easy for parents to choose the cleanest, safest option when it came time to change those sheets.  I knew that the Juvenile Products Manufacturing Association (JPMA) consistently states that parents should follow the “A, B, C’s” for infants: “A”lone (no loose blankets or stuffed animals), on their “B”ack (sleeping position) and in a “C”rib (not in parents’ bed).  With this in mind, I began the long journey of research with parents, understanding regulations and safety standards, designing and re-designing and patenting my invention. The result? The Quick Change Crib!

The Quick Change Crib has a patented “door” cleverly hidden into the headboard that opens so that parents can slide the mattress out horizontally, change the sheet, and slide it back in without ever having to remove toys, mobiles or bumpers; it literally can be done in 30 seconds. So now we have clean, healthy, safe baby…and definitely more well-rested mom and dad. Think of the extra time you save as more quality time with your baby.

The Quick Change Crib is certified safe by JPMA and and we participate in random quarterly testing through an independent laboratory that tests against CPSCA and ASTM standards. We have also won numerous awards for innovation and design (Whirlpool Mother of Invention Grand Prize Winner, NAPPA- National Parenting Publications Awards, Outstanding Product 2007 by iParenting Media Awards, etc.) and have been written about in leading magazines and journals.

The support for our crib has been undeniable…from Moms and Dads, the press, as well as from recent research. A 2009 study of unmet needs in cribs found that:

• 82% of parents believe that ease of use is a very important feature of a child’s crib, compared to 33% believing that design is very important and 17% who believe color is important;
• 97% of experienced moms and Dads find ease of use of the crib especially important;
• 72% of parents agree that changing the crib sheet is more frustrating than they expected.
• Nearly 60% of parents report that changing the crib sheet or lifting the mattress is “extremely difficult” or “very frustrating,” compared with 7 percent for changing a diaper.

This whole journey has been simply unbelievable. My parents always used to tell me “wait until you have kids!” whenever I questioned something they said or did, so I expected that my perspective on things might change, but I never expected being a mom would catapult me into a whole new business!   I am, and have been for the last 15 years, a principal partner with a boutique management consulting company, but turning my crib idea into reality has been been like a lifetime of learning squashed into a few short years. I have my kids to thank for that (oh, yeah, and my parents, my husband, my business partner and a whole lot of other supportive people!).  Thank you for the opportunity to share my story and I can’t wait to read yours!

HEALTHFUL HINTS:

JPMA Safety tips for selecting your first crib: 

•  This first “home” should be cheerful and secure. Each year, approximately 50 babies suffocate or strangle when they become trapped between broken crib parts or in cribs with older, unsafe designs. Many older cribs, including the one that was used for you or your younger children, do not meet all current safety standards. Even if you are on a tight budget, you should not purchase an old crib at a garage sale or accept a hand-me-down that does not meet the following guidelines
• Infants should ALWAYS sleep in a crib, which meets current Federal and ASTM standards.
• The crib mattress should fit snugly with no more than two fingers width, one-inch, between the edge of the mattress and the crib side. Otherwise, the baby can get trapped between the mattress and the side of the crib.
• No pillow-like bumpers.
• Look for the JPMA Certification Seal.

easidream

Hello, I’m Lynda, mum to six lovable and lively children and inventor of easidream®

When my sixth child, Bradley was born, he cried constantly and it was a nightly struggle to settle him to sleep…a struggle that went on until he was two and a half years old! I tried everything to soothe him off to sleep, but I discovered that the most reliable way was to lean over the cot sides and create a ‘rocking cot’ motion by moving the mattress up and down. Having scoured shops and the internet for any product that would replicate this movement (and relieve my backache!), I realised that there was nothing suitable out there, so I went on to take the ‘massive step’ of developing a product of my own – easidream®

For the next few years I researched the problem as deeply as possible, canvassing valuable input from sleep experts, university departments and medical professionals like midwives, child psychologists and paediatricians. I also consulted with the baby care industry and product design teams and, of course, surveyed many parents with young babies. At last, after a 7-year gestation easidream® was born!

The finished product has been meticulously designed and researched. I considered it was essential for easidream® to undergo proper scientific trials to validate its efficiency… it was no good just me saying it worked, I needed to be 100% sure that it did! I embarked on a year long period of research in conjunction with University of Brighton medical experts, which involved testing both the moving platform and the soothing sounds on a wide selection of babies. These studies not only revealed just how effective easidream® was at promoting healthy sleep patterns, but also showed that it encourages parents to adopt safe sleep practices.

The findings revealed:

• Average crying time on easidream® was reduced from 18 minutes to less than 1 minute
• All of the babies that took part in the trials remained happily settled on their backs; great news in respect of SIDS
• Time to settle to sleep in some cases was reduced by up to 95%

We all know that when a new baby arrives, uninterrupted sleep is rare and we have to adapt to shorter, broken nights and savour every moment of sleep we can catch. But although we think our bodies are coping with just a few ‘catnaps’ a night, continuous lack of sleep eventually catches up on us all; it’s vitally important that we understand just how crucial sleep is to the whole family’s well being… not just for healthy child development, but also for the general health and well being of everyone in the household. Did you know that it has been proven that well rested children develop faster, are healthier and have fewer behavioural problems? With adults, lack of sleep has been proven to affect both memory and cognitive skills…. What more can I say? I was determined to invent a product that would not only help soothe particularly fractious babies, but also promote the formation of a healthy sleep pattern, so both babies and parents could benefit from a good night’s rest.

easidream® actually assists in encouraging the formation of a healthy sleep pattern plus it encourages babies to self settle on their back in the cot, which is great news in the fight against SIDS. It also solves the problem of sleep deprivation for the whole family by rewarding them with those valuable hours of sleep they so richly deserve.  End result: happy, healthier babies and happy, healthier parents!

HEALTHFUL HINTS:

1. Putting babies to sleep
   • Make sure you place your baby with their feet at the foot of the cot (but not touching the end of the cot) , to reduce the likelihood of the baby wriggling down and becoming overheated underneath any cot bedding, which may end up over the baby’s head. Overheating has been shown to greatly increase the likelihood of a SIDS related incident occurring. 
   • Also, remove soft toys from the cot, as they too could increase your baby’s temperature to an unsafe level.  This is why ewan, our dream sheep, is secured to the cot bars and not positioned directly in line with your baby’s head, just in case he becomes detached – although this is extremely unlikely! (Some of our website shots are at an angle that may look like ewan is close to the head, but I can assure you he’s not!)
   • Always ensure your baby is placed to sleep on their back; again this is incredibly important in reducing the likelihood of a SIDS incident occurring. (The beauty of easidream® is that it has been proven to actually help baby’s settle to sleep on their backs and so parents are more likely to follow the recommended safe sleep guidelines.)
   • While all of this is consistent with the American Academy of Pediatrics Guidelines for Safe Sleeping , each baby is unique.   Always remember to ask your doctor what’s best for your baby’s sleep.
2. If they wake up or refuse to sleep:
   • …it is extremely important that you go and check your baby to determine the reason why. We have spent a great deal of time researching this particular area and having consulted medical professionals, and it is why we decided against having an automatic sound activated feature or a remote control that would “restart” the soother. As this is such a vulnerable age group, we consider it vitally important that parents return to their baby to remedy any problem – dirty nappy, thirsty, hungry etc. For healthy, happy sleep times we believe that interaction with your baby is vital and we strongly encourage this practise.

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