How to Talk to Your Kids About…Mistakes

Last updated on September 13th, 2015 at 02:03 am

Mistakes are part of life. Learning from our mistakes is a vital part of growing up.

In fact, research shows us that kids learn more from making mistakes, then taking the easy route and getting everything correct all the time.

So how do we talk to our kids about their mistakes?

  • Don’t sigh or scoff when your children make mistakes or when discussing their mistakes.
  • Don’t talk about how the mistake has made your life inconvenient. Never make your child feel bad because you had to exert effort to clean up after a mess, or work through the mistake.
  • Don’t ask for perfection. Instead, offer praise for their effort.
  • Don’t talk about their past mistakes. Our kids will never want to do better if they think we will just point out the mistakes they have made in the past.
  • Don’t withhold love or affection as a punishment for mistakes.
  • Do encourage your children to take responsibility for their mistakes.

Turn the error into an opportunity…a wrong into something right…

Talk to children about what they can learn from their mistakes. As parents it is not our job to rescue them when they make a mistake, but instead to help them focus on a solution to the problem so they can avoid making the same mistake again. Acknowledge that OUR kids mess up, and refrain from blaming everyone else.

Talk to children about what to do when they make mistakes, and how to right the wrong.

Thank them for being honest and admitting when they have done something wrong.

Talk about the positives, and the lessons that can be learned from the mistake.

Do tell your children about mistakes you have made. Don’t unload all of the mistakes you have made, but using good judgment, use personal examples to teach your children. Focus on what you learned and how you felt. Talk about the consequences.

Mistakes are normal – we all make them. Your kids probably feel like they make them all the time. And the truth is, they probably do – it’s all part of growing up. What we can do is help them learn from the mistakes they make so they know how to better handle situations and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

About the Author

Heather Ann Johnson is a homemaker, wife and mother. She and her husband have 4 children. She is an Adjunct Faculty member at Brigham Young University where she teaches students the principles behind successful families. Her blog, Family Volley, answers reader’s questions about families, marital relationships, and raising children. A firm believer that families should play together, Family Volley features a new activity or game for families every Friday. Heather is a former member of the PedSafe Expert team

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