Taking Care of YOU So You Can Protect Your Kids and Pets

Last updated on September 1st, 2017 at 01:54 pm

Being a member of numerous online social networking pages, I recently started to notice a huge rise in the number of ‘Dog Missing’ and ‘Dog Found’ posts across several of the sites. And apparently, I was not the only one to notice this. On one of those sites someone wrote, “Is it me? Or does there seem to be a much larger number of pets getting posted as missing than ever before?” Well, obviously as a canine professional, this peaked my interest, and I started to really think about why this is happening. It also resonated a bit more with me than ever before because I am coming up on my 10th year of being in business, and a few weeks ago, one of my boarders also got out…. which has never happened before! Even though he was found and was fine, it was the most frightening and tear-filled two hours I have encountered since opening the business. So I had to really question why! What is going on for me and others around me?

As I started to reflect on what was going on for me, I started to realize I was extremely overworked and my eating habits have been terrible; often eating one meal a day or less, and grabbing the unhealthy junk on top of the fridge because I am just too tired to spend time making a meal. On top of that, I had started to become isolated…I started to avoid the phone…. viewing it as yet another disruption of everything I needed to do. And I found myself getting angry every single time it rang.  

Amazingly, one of the times I did answer it, it turned out to be one of my closest friends… she was going through the EXACT same thing I was!  She’s a full time stay-at-home Mom for a one and a half year old, and just like my husband, her husband also works very long hours away from the home. We spent some time commiserating together about our exhaustion, our lack of patience, our short fuses and tempers threatening to flare at any moment….  

And I remembered an acronym I had learned in recovery a very long time ago. H.A.L.T. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. Each one of these things, in and of itself, can be a dangerous thing…. And I was allowing myself to live in all four day after day.  

So you may be asking yourself, “Why is this important? What does this have to do with child and canine health and safety?

Simply this: when you allow yourself to get this run down and tired, there are many important things that you miss. It becomes harder to focus and pay close attention. You tend to make more mistakes that seem careless and avoidable! And when dealing with children AND animals, not paying attention can have numerous negative consequences.  

What do I mean?

  • You make bad decisions that end up adding to your exhaustion. Example: “The kids were bored and were driving me crazy, so I took them to a pet store to play with some puppies to entertain them….the next thing I know, I now have a pup in my living room who’s now ADDING to the chaos! It’s pooping and peeing everywhere, crying non-stop, and jumping on and chasing the kids all over the house!”
  • You give in on decisions you normally wouldn’t have, and now someone’s gotten hurt (more mommy guilt!)  Example : “My children were begging me for a dog; I’m so tired I thought it would be a great idea to get one for them to keep them occupied. We went to a shelter and found one, but we don’t really have time to train it (Or “I had no idea how much work it would take to train it”) so now my older children (who begged me for it) are afraid of it because it’s so hyper and wild. It goes to chase them to play and they scream and run! On top of that, my two year old has been knocked down and run over by it so many times, he is constantly black and blue and crying! So the dog gets put outside alone or penned up in its crate, which is making it even more wild and crazy!”
  • You do things when not paying attention that could unintentionally put others in danger. Example: Because I don’t have children, I didn’t realize the ‘whirlwind’ the whole ‘preparation for back-to-school’ becomes and how it’s affecting my clients. And in that flurry of activity (to get new school clothes, school supplies, etc.) no one realized the back door was left open and the dog just walked right out. And since no one noticed the dog was outside while you drove away, no-one thought to check if the gate was shut. And even if the gate hadn’t been left open, the panicked dog (having being left alone in the yard), found their way over, under, or around the gate. Now your dog is roaming free through the neighborhood, potentially putting himself and/or other neighborhood children or pets in danger.  OR the more simple version: as the kids ran out the front door to catch the school bus and you ran to the kitchen desperate for a cup of coffee, guess who ran out the door right behind the kids and is now roaming free through the neighborhood? (Remember I mentioned about all the missing dogs lately?)
  • Or you are just doing the simple tasks that you would normally not have to think twice about – such as shuttling the kids to and from school and lessons or driving the dog to the vet – but now you are doing them utterly exhausted – which is the same as if you are under the influence.  All it takes is:
    • Turning right to go to work instead of left to drop the baby off at daycare. The baby is sleeping in their rear-facing car seat in the back seat – you can’t see or hear them…
    • Looking in the rear-view mirror too long when the dog is barking at something out of the window
    • All it takes is one second of not paying attention behind the wheel of a car, and the results can be devastating! These are not bad parents – they’re just exhausted!!
  • Any caregiver – whether for a child, an elderly parent, or even a pet – can put themselves and those entrusted to their care at risk when exhaustion sets in. Even I, as a professional dog trainer, recently experienced consequences from allowing myself to get so run down. How many articles have I written where I ‘preached’ about being aware of your dog’s body language at all times? I had a 6 month old pup staying with me for some training. I was very tired and had not had a chance all day to eat …. And I was not paying attention. I went to put her in her crate, and was totally taken by surprise when she suddenly turned around and bit my hand. The fact is, I should not have been taken by surprise, nor should I have gotten bitten. This pup has always been clear with her body language, and I am sure she gave me numerous ‘warning’ signs that she was ‘not in the mood’ to go into her crate. But because I was so tired and was not paying attention, I missed all of them. Luckily, it was not a bad bite, but enough of one to snap me awake and make me realize I cannot afford to NOT be paying attention in my line of work!  I was lucky…as are most of us, most of the time, but unfortunately none of us are lucky all the time. And decisions are compromised by exhaustion every day.  I say in just about every article, “Never leave your child unattended with your dog” but when we are exhausted, how easy is it to just say, “It is only for a little while…. They’ll be fine…I’m right in the next room!” I am a professional trainer… when that bite happened I immediately knew what to do to de-escalate and redirect the situation…. but what if that had been your child who decided to do something that the dog did not like?

So, how do we combat this? How do we put aside that never-ending to-do list and take the time we need to recharge our batteries?

First step– recognize that there’s a problem and figure out what’s causing the overload – is this a short term (like going back to school craziness) or longer term (such as my friend dealing with a new baby) situation I need to address?  Recognizing the situation and knowing when there’ll be an end in sight is half the battle!

For me, the second step was empowering myself and understanding that I am no good to anyone else unless I take care of me. I sometimes struggle with this because I feel I am being selfish. But I have to force myself to look at this from a different perspective. For me, it’s always been easier to help someone else than to help myself…. Which is probably why I became a care-giver to begin with!  So, I ask myself, “If my best friend told me she did everything I have done today and had five or six more things still left to do, what would I tell her?” Well, I’d tell her to turn off the phones, and take at least an hour for herself each day. If you have a young child that cannot understand the concept of ‘me-time’ than you need to forgo the six loads of laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming, and everything else you squeeze into the hour that they are napping. Give yourself permission to take care of you for that hour.

The third thing to practice is setting boundaries….. this begins with learning to say “NO”. It’s another thing I too struggle with! When customer’s call me saying, “If you can’t help me, I’m going to have to get rid of this dog” I have a hard time not springing into action! But saying no to them does not mean I do not care. It doesn’t mean I’m this horrible person!  All it means is my plate is already full and I would not be helping either of us to say yes.

The fourth thing is scheduling something to do that is specifically for you, outside the of the house, at least once a week. And it needs to be guilt-free! If you have a partner, a spouse, a parent, a sibling, or even a good friend, make arrangements for them to come and take care of the kids for a day…. Or even for a few hours. If you cannot find a relative or friend, hire a babysitter for the day. And while you are at it, put Fido in a doggy day care for a few hours or find a local place that offers some sort of day-train program. He’ll get some (probably much needed) exercise, socialization and play time at doggy day care, and a bit of extra training can never hurt!! ! I know it can get a bit costly, but if you think about it…this is your sanity and the health and well being of your kids.

The final thing is when you know you are tired, view your decision making process just like your go-home instructions after anesthesia. “Avoid making any important or life-altering decisions for the next 24 hours.”

We all love our kids and pets, and we always strive to do our very best for them! We owe it to them to give them our very best… but not our all! Make time for you, because you are important and deserve it! And when you do make that time, you will find you have much more patience, tolerance, and you will be able to enjoy your kids and pets again! And I would wager that they will feel the difference, and be much happier too!!!

Be good to yourself. You are the only ‘you’ you’ve got!

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is Sensory Friendly, Tomorrow at AMC

Last updated on September 1st, 2017 at 01:54 pm

AMC Entertainment (AMC) has expanded their Sensory Friendly Films program in partnership with the Autism Society. This Tuesday evening, families affected by autism or other special needs have the opportunity to view a sensory friendly screening off The Hitman’s Bodyguard, a film that may appeal to older audiences on the autism spectrum.

As always, the movie auditoriums will have their lights turned up and the sound turned down. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.

Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.

AMC and the Autism Society will be showing The Hitman’s Bodyguard, sensory friendly tomorrow, Tuesday, August 22nd at 7pm (local time). Tickets are $4 to $6 depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).

Later In Aug:  The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature (Tues, 8/26);

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Editor’s note: Although The Hitman’s Bodyguard has been chosen by AMC and the Autism Society for a Tuesday Sensory Friendly screening, we do want parents to know that it is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America for strong violence and language throughout.  As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your family.

How to Help Your Child Live With Kidney Disease

Last updated on September 1st, 2017 at 01:55 pm

Having kidney disease affects children in many ways. They may need to take medicines and alter their diet, and can also face challenges at school.

It’s only natural to worry if you have a child with kidney disease. Parents often have questions about their child’s health. We answer some of the most common ones.

It can be helpful for parents to talk to members of the renal team, such as the social worker or clinical psychologist. Other parents and patient support groups may also be able to help.

Can I give a kidney to my child?

As a parent, your first instinct may be to deal with your child’s condition by giving them one of your kidneys. Around half of all kidney transplants carried out are now from living donors.

Living organ donation usually involves one family member donating an organ to another family member or a partner. The relative is usually blood related – a parent, brother, sister or child. It’s possible for a healthy person to lead a completely normal life with only one working kidney.

Considering donating a kidney is a big step. It’s major surgery, and will only go ahead once strict rules are met and after a thorough process of assessment and discussion. Talk to your child’s renal team if you want to explore whether donation could be an option for you and your child.

Will my child grow normally?

The kidneys play an important role in a child’s growth, so children with kidney disease may not grow as well as their peers. To make the problem worse, their illness can make them feel sick, alter their sense of taste and reduce their appetite.

How to help

It’s important to make sure that children with kidney disease get enough nutrition. Talk to your child’s doctor about ways to help boost growth. Taking supplements and limiting certain foods while eating more fats and carbohydrates to increase calorie intake can help. Some children benefit from injections of growth hormone.

Will my child have a problem making friends?

Children with kidney disease can have trouble making friends and fitting in with children of their own age. This can be because they miss time off school.

It can also be because of a child’s natural concern that their kidney disease makes them different from other children. Children can lack confidence if they’re small for their age and their appearance has changed (for example, if they are bloated) as a result of their condition and its treatment.

How to help

Find ways to encourage your child to meet other children and make friends. They can meet other children through nurseries, playgroups, school and after-school clubs. Having children over for tea and sleepovers and, in the case of older children, using social networking sites, such as Facebook, can help encourage them to make friends.

Will my child have difficulties at school?

Kidney disease itself doesn’t usually cause problems with learning, but children who have had kidney disease from a young age may spend so much time in hospital that they struggle with schoolwork. They usually catch up as they get older.

How to help

If your child misses school, do all you can to help them with their schoolwork. Talk to their teachers as early as possible to make a homework plan that your child can get on with while they’re in hospital.

  • Make sure your child is getting as much extra educational support as possible from the school. The hospital teachers can also help and advise you.
  • If you have concerns about your child’s development or learning, talk to your child’s school.

Read more about how to talk to the school about your child’s health condition.

Should children with kidney disease do sport?

It’s tempting to be overprotective of a sick child. In general, sport and exercise is great for children with kidney disease. But bear in mind that they may get tired more easily than their friends and classmates.

How to help

Encourage your child to do all the activities their friends do. If your child is on dialysis, swimming might not be possible. In some cases, particularly after a kidney transplant, children should also avoid contact sports. Otherwise, they can safely take part in most sports.

What if my child refuses their medicine?

Taking medicines is part of life for most children and young people with kidney disease. They can find this a strain and may stop taking their medicines.

How to help

  • Try to work out why they don’t want to take their medicines. Children, especially teenagers, may stop taking their medicines because they can cause unflattering changes in appearance.
  • Talk to them about why taking their medicines is important for their health and what will happen if they don’t. Be careful not to scare your child into taking their medicines.
  • Explaining to older children and teenagers why they need to be responsible for taking their own medicines can make them more likely to keep taking their tablets.
  • It can also help to involve the renal team that’s looking after your child, as they will have lots of experience of tackling this problem with other children and young people.
  • It’s very important that you let the renal team know immediately if you think your child isn’t taking their medicines.

Who can my child talk to about kidney disease?

All children’s kidney teams have different professionals on hand to chat to your child. These include doctors, nurses, psychologists, social workers, play specialists, teachers and some youth workers.

How to help

Arrange for your child to talk to a member of the kidney team. It can also help if they meet a young adult who had chronic kidney disease during childhood, or another child of their own age. You can find contacts through your doctor, local support group, or the British Kidney Patient Association (BKPA)**.

How do I explain kidney disease to my other children?

Brothers and sisters of children with kidney disease may feel left out and worried. They need time with you to talk over their worries and feel part of the overall plan.

How to help

Your child’s kidney team is there to help the whole family. Ask the play specialist, psychologist or social worker to spend time talking to your child’s brothers and sisters and answering their questions.

Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US readers.

** Resources in the United States, the National Kidney Foundation  and the American Kidney Fund





Child Health & Safety News 8/14: Finland Program Combats Bullying

Last updated on August 21st, 2017 at 11:14 am

twitter thumbIn this week’s Child Health News: Britain is facing health ‘time bomb’ as obese children are hit by Type 2 Diabetes bit.ly/2vY9Nyg

Welcome to Pediatric Safety’s weekly “Child Health & Safety News Roundup”- a recap of the past week’s child health and safety news headlines from around the world. Each day we use social media to communicate relevant and timely health and safety information to the parents, medical professionals and caregivers who follow us. Occasionally we overlook something, but overall we think we’re doing a pretty good job of keeping you informed.  Still, quite a bit happens every day – so to make sure you don’t miss anything, we offer you a recap of this week’s top 15 events & stories.

  • Flashing Red. Kids Ahead. promotes bus safety bit.ly/2vvnjsF 2017-08-13
  • This book on child malnutrition will change the way you think about health interventions wapo.st/2vY2y9t  2017-08-13
  • 25 Simple Ways to Help Kids Learn to Make Friends and Collaborate https://t.co/ESvCps5EEr  2017-08-12
  • Breastfeeding is a very different experience in other countries bit.ly/2wE091u Here’s what it’s like around the world 2017-08-12
  • A keen eye on children’s health, environmental risks bit.ly/2hS07zR 2017-08-12

PedSafe Child Health & Safety News Headline of the Week:
Finland found a proven way to combat bullying. Here’s what it’ll take to make it work in the United States  cnn.it/2wGzocN

  • Why Free Play is Important for Your Overscheduled Child vwell.cm/2uuIbNM 2017-08-11
  • Teachers, Want to Help A Child Learn? Encourage Wiggling!zpr.io/PVNL8 2017-08-11
  • How to Avoid Taking Your Stress Out On Your Kids – Thurs Time Capsule 07/11 bit.ly/2eZi0ff 2017-08-10
  • Ex-Atlanta Firefighter Dies Saving Child In Water At Tallulah Gorge bit.ly/2unycJW taking a minute to honor the brave 2017-08-09
  • How to Manage Your Diabetes for a Safer Pregnancyzpr.io/PVtwB 2017-08-09
  • Are moms who don’t breastfeed “bad”? No! bit.ly/2fmSe4D 2017-08-08
  • Celebrate World Breastfeeding Week by Trading Up Your Pump (and Helping Moms in Need) bit.ly/2uhDqH9 2017-08-08
  • How to Help Your Preschooler Develop a Healthy Moral Compass vwell.cm/2vFT0ju 2017-08-07
  • The Emoji Movie is Sensory Friendly, Tomorrow Night at AMCzpr.io/PviHx 2017-08-07
  • For a Great School Year, Bullyproof Your Special Needs Child zpr.io/PviHX 2017-08-07

6 Reasons to Stop the “Every Kid Gets a Trophy” Epidemic

Last updated on August 21st, 2017 at 11:14 am

Just pretend:  The sports season just ended and you and the other parents are bursting with pride watching each child receive a participation trophy with their teammates. Of course, we hate to see our children disappointed, so when we notice every kid holding a golden statue, we utter a collective parent sigh: “Oh, good, they all feel special!” Phew!

But do our good intentions really help our kids? Not if we really want to nurture our children’s character and base our parenting on solid child-development research.

The “Every Kid Gets a Prize” is a staple of modern-day parenting. Even coaches and the sports industry are jumping on board. The local chapter of one national sports association spends roughly 12 percent of its yearly budget on trophies just to make sure that every kid feels special—even if it’s just for “showing up.”

But beware: our good-hearted trend may actually backfire and diminish-not nurture-our children’s self-esteem, character and resilience. Here are six reasons to stop the “Every kid gets a trophy” trend, and pronto.

Curtails Character Development

Our children develop crucial character traits like perseverance, dependability, and trustworthiness by rolling up their sleeves, practicing hard, and giving tasks their personal best. Awarding kids for putting on a uniform is honoring mediocrity-not excellence-and it robs them of the opportunity to strengthen their character. Character is what helps our children become good people and handle life.

Short-Changes Real-Life Preparation

Life is tough. Success is hard work. So truth be told: the real world doesn’t give out ribbons, medals, awards and trophies just for participating. Ask yourself: “If my child thinks that all she has to do is show up to earn the prize, what message does she learn?”

Let’s not allow our kids to believe that they can take the easy way out, cut corners, and rely on others to do the heavy hitting. Doing so won’t prepare them for the real world.

Robs “Authentic” Self-Esteem

In all fairness, a big reason many parents joined the “Trophy Bandwagon” is because they assumed that it would nurture their children’s self-esteem. But research tells a different story.

Authentic self-esteem is comprised of two parts: A Feeling of Worthiness (“I am a worthwhile person”) and A Feeling of Competence (“I am capable to handle life.”)

While that trophy may make a kid feel “special” in the moment, it doesn’t endure. Real self-esteem is gained from praise, pats on the back or trophies that are earned, and kids are quick to recognize they did nothing to warrant the award.

Curtails Resilience

Helping kids cope with adversity must be part of our parenting agendas. After all, life has bumps and our children must learning coping skills to ride them out.

Children become more tolerant to frustration when they are exposed to setbacks in small doses.That way when those bigger challenges come along they realize they can handle them.

Giving every kid a trophy as a means to cushion disappointment from not “being the best,” only reduces their chances to realize that they can bounce back and curtails their capacity for resilience.

Devalues Real Success

 I’ll never forget when my college-bound son handed me a box of his trophies culled from being on dozens of teams. “They don’t mean anything,” he explained, “everyone has same trophies.” He saved just one medal from a team History Day competition that was well-earned from hard work and passion.

If every kid gets the trophy, then their “real win” isn’t special and they fail to reap the joy that comes from realizing that their hard efforts actually paid off.

It’s natural for parents to want to help their kids feel good, but what we may be missing is helping them care about others and support their teammatesThe real world isn’t about “Me” but “We.” In today’s diverse, global world our children must learn to collaborate and support each other. And we must switch our kids’ from thinking, “I, me, mine,” to “we, us ours.” One way to do so is by encouraging them to recognize the strengths of others, and to congratulate their teammates for their talents. To prepare them for today’s world, we must help our kids think “WE,” not “ME.”

Let’s stop this craze of giving every kid a trophy just for showing up and breathing. The practice is not beneficial to children’s character development. Instead, tell your son or daughter that you are proud that they were a team player and that you loved going to those games or event.

Do snap that photo of your child, but make sure your son or daughter is in a group shot with all his or her teammates. Now there is the memory that both you and your child will want to preserve! And it’s also one of the best ways to raise a generation of kids who think “WE,” not “ME.”

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UnSelfie 140x210Teens today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago. Why is a lack of empathy—along with the self-absorption epidemic Dr. Michele Borba calls the Selfie Syndrome—so dangerous? First, it hurts kids’ academic performance and leads to bullying behaviors. Also, it correlates with more cheating and less resilience. And once children grow up, it hampers their ability to collaborate, innovate and problem-solve—all must-have skills for the global economy. The good news? Empathy is a trait that can be taught and nurtured.  UnSelfie is a blueprint for parents and educators who want activate our children’s hearts and shift their focus from I, me, and mine… to we, us, and ours.  It’s time to include “empathy” in our parenting and teaching!  UnSelfie is AVAILABLE NOW at amazon.com.

Teachers, Want to Help A Child Learn? Encourage Wiggling!

Last updated on August 21st, 2017 at 11:25 am

The research is clear, many of us move to think, that means we can cheer for kids who like to wiggle while they learn.

Large motor movement such as walking 15 minutes before school, doing moderate-intensity exercise before a test and peddling or bouncing before academics have been shown to improve performance. Small movements such as fidgeting, squirming, leg-swinging, foot-tapping, and chair-scuffling may help us learn new knowledge and work out complex tasks. The research is reviewed in 70 Play Activities.

Here are 8 science-based ways to improve thinking, learning, and behavior in your classroom.

70 Play Activities – Kenney & Comizio 2016

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70-play-hi-res-150x197Written for teachers, educators, and clinicians whose work involves playing, talking or teaching children who would benefit from better executive function and social-emotional learning skills, 70 Play Activities incorporates over 100 research studies into printable worksheets, handouts, and guided scripts with step-by-step directions, to empower children to learn and behave better. “With 70 Play Activities we aim to improve the trajectory of children’s learning by integrating the newest neuroscience with activities children love!” With over 70 activities designed to improve thinking, self-regulation, learning and behavior, your tool-kit will be full and your creative brain will be inspired to craft your own meaningful exercises. 70 Play Activities is available at amazon.com